"It Ends With Me" - Breaking Generational Cycles w/ Melody Fabien

A few months ago, I had the blessed opportunity to listen to Melody Fabien speak at the New Life Women's Conference at the Moody Bible Institute, on the topic of "Breaking Generational Cycles." In this episode I am honored to have her as a guest, to talk about breaking generational sin and cycles.
Tune in to this powerful message!

"Melody is a lover of Jesus, wife to Claudaniel (CD), and mother to Jael, Maria & Ellianah. Melody resides in Davie FL with her family, enjoys serving in her local church and speaking at Family Life Weekend to Remember conferences.  Melody also travels the US speaking and teaching about faith, love, relationships and marriage. Melody is known for her humorous and animated style of communicating hard truths. She is also very passionate about connecting women to God and connecting them to each other. She has a heart to see young women set free and living victorious lives, both physically and spiritually."

I pray you'll be blessed through this podcast episode.

Transcript

Ann: 0:09

Hey there, friends. My name is Anne Calvio. And welcome to her Scars. Tell a Story, podcast, a safe space for women from all different walks of life and different backgrounds coming together to share their stories of God's redeeming love. So grab your cup of coffee and journey with us now. Hey there friends. Welcome to her Scars. Tell a Story podcast. I'm your host, Anne Gao, and I'm with my wonderful guest today, melody Fabian. Hello, melody.

Melody: 0:53

How are you? Hi Anne. I'm so glad to be here. Girl. We have fought the good fight and we are doing this pocket.

Ann: 1:01

Yes. Amen. I mean, we have gone through some warfare just to get to this place right now and literally with our technical equipment. Thank you for using your phone to be able to do this. I know we tried your computer, your laptop, and the enemy just wants to mess with our wifi today. Mm-hmm. So I thank you. Mm-hmm.

Melody: 1:24

We're gonna pray against these, uh, tech demons in Jesus name.

Ann: 1:29

Yes. Yes. So welcome, welcome, melody. Um, I would love for you to tell us a little bit about yourself.

Melody: 1:37

So my name is Melody Fabian. Born and raised in Chicago, in the Hood, OSA Park, Fulton Pulaski, if anybody knows. Um, I have been married 14 years and, um, I have three beautiful daughters. I have a 13 year old. I have a, um, adopted young adult daughter who's married now. She's, wow. I'm gonna be married seven years now and I have a miracle baby. A two year old. Yeah. So I have three girls and, um, my husband and I, we love Jesus and have been set apart for him. We speak at marriage conferences and, um, he does men's, I do women's conferences and, you know, we just, we preach the word of God. We teach the truth. We wanna see people free and we want them to stay free. And, um, yeah, that's what we do. We're working on a podcast, uh, hopefully this year too, so I'm excited about that. And um, and then we just got certified to do premarital counseling, so we also are doing that and coaching online. So we're pretty busy for the Lord. And my husband's also in school for counseling right now, and we are now living in South Florida, Davy, Florida.

Ann: 2:59

My goodness. Your hands are full for the Lord.

Melody: 3:05

Yeah. Praise

Ann: 3:07

God though. Yes, they're, that's wonderful. And, and I'm thankful to be a recipient of that. I went to a woman's conference a few months ago, and that's where I first, um, heard you speak. Uh, you really ministered to me and so many women, so many women that, you know, I had a chance to connect with as they were sharing. Um, you spoke on breaking generational, cycles Yes,

Melody: 3:35

yes.

Ann: 3:35

So can you tell us a little bit about that?

Melody: 3:38

Yes, yes. You know how in your family. You know, you'll see your kid and your friends will see your kids and they're like, oh my goodness. They look just like their father, or they look just like their mother. And you see these inherited traits, looks of the parents or grandparents. Um, but I think we forget that there's also inherited generational things from our family, spiritually, from our family, genetically. And um, there's even, uh, studies that show, um, this is book I'm reading actually right here. I'm still reading it right now, but, uh, it didn't start with you. And so there's a lot of things that it didn't start with. You started with your generations, but it's been passed down to you. And sometimes we've been passed down generational sins, generational cycles, and sometimes even generational curses. That's a word where like, oh, I don't like those words. You know what I'm saying? Well, you could see patterns in your life. You see patterns in your family, you see patterns that are not breaking. And it's like, how do we break these cycles, um, through the power of Jesus Christ? And there is power in doing that. And so this has been something that my husband and I have been seeing, um, the power of Christ to break these things in our family, in ourselves, in people we pray for. So when I got asked to speak at Lu, like about this topic, I was like, yes, let's go.

Ann: 5:21

Yeah. Thank you. And so you said that the generational sin, can you tell us what that looks like? In the family?

Melody: 5:30

Yeah. Yeah. So it could be like, you know, where you see like, Grandpa, great grandpa was an alcoholic. Grandpa's alcoholic. Dad's alcoholic work. You know, I'm dealing with alcoholism or even like, it's like a pattern of addiction. It's like porn, addiction. Porn, addiction porn. Like it just keeps coming or, um, failed marriages, divorce, you know? Yeah. Adultery. Right. You just keep seeing it. And, you know, it's crazy because we are not responsible for our ancestors sin, but we are affected by it. Mm. And so though we, you know, didn't maybe do those things, we are affected by it. And the good news through Jesus, if you believe in him, whether you know Jesus or not. And today I pray that you get to know him. Yeah. Whether you, uh, once you say Jesus, I give you my life. I don't want you to just, I don't just accept that you died on a cross from my sins, but I accept that you resurrected from the dead and you cleanse me from my sins and I can live free. You can break this in your family. You can say, this ends with me. Or give an example. When I was in high school, I, um, there was a guy who was working, he was a security guard. I'm like 17, about to be a senior. He's probably 23, 24, something very young, very handsome security guard. All of the girls thought he was so cute and, um, he, you know, would say, God, you know, I'd talk to him. I would start talking to him about Jesus. We'd have long conversations after school and then I'd go to work and um, but then the conversation started becoming like, you look really pretty. And like, I really like your outfit and. And I would be like, okay, you better stop playing. You're married. You know, like that. But I kinda was still flirting with him because I liked the attention. And um, I remember long story short, it got to a point where he was like, man, that'd be so fun for us to hang out. And I felt like finally all the sin alarms went off adultery, adultery, evacuate the area, you know? And I was like, no, no, you know, and I left and I used to read a proverb a day and I'm reading Proverbs five, six and seven and I'm like, God, he talks about adultery. You say that those who come in adultery will be, um, ashamed in front of the assembly. Do not be lured in, but their, with their sweet words, they're like, honey. I was like, father, forgive me, forgive me. And he spoke very clearly to me. You have been stealing from his wife. He should not be thinking about you. Mm. Yeah. You need to cut this off right now. And I'm like, but we're not doing anything. Just talking. Right. Yeah. That's what happened to Eve. She was talking to a snake. Okay. And so that's how she fell, like, don't be talking to the enemy. And so I was like, forgive me God for having conversations that I don't need to be having. We didn't talk about nothing sexual. We were talking about Jesus, but I don't need to be talking to this married man. Yeah. And so I went back the next day, I said, this little whatever conversations we've been having is done. And he's like, what are you talking about? We're not even doing nothing. I was like, this is this thing. Whatever it is, is done. And then he like, whispers gets close to me. He's like, what if I left my wife? I'm like, see, you just said there ain't nothing here. What you talking about? Right. And I was like, this is done. And I said, I'm not talking to you anymore. I'm cutting this off. And he's like, what? What's this weird change? All of a sudden you don't wanna talk to me? I was like, I read the word of God. Mm yeah. Yeah. And he said, well, show me what you read. And I showed him what I read. Yeah. And, but something that stood out to me is there's been adultery in my family. Mm. And I remember distinctly, the Lord said, it ends with you melody. Mm. Because something your parents could be struggling with it. Your grandparents great grandma. Like, you know, don the generations. Yeah. But you through Jesus can identify it, resist it. You have to keep resisting it and stand against it, confess it, and cut it off. And so I cut that deal off. I confess it. I ask God to forgive me and I cut it off. Yeah. And see that was like, man, this ends with me, but I'm still married. And the enemy will try, girl. He will try to come around and you'll, you'll see it. You have to be aware of the enemy. Like when you get saved, you don't get on a cruise, y'all. You get on a battleship. Okay? Yeah. And the Lord is with you and he's good, but he also makes you a warrior for Christ. Yeah. Ephesians six says, take up your armor. Yeah. We fight with the word of God, our sword. Yeah. And so we can't just be fighting with these one verses from your little Instagram devotions. No. You need to get in the Bible. You need to read the word. You need to know the word so you know how to fight the enemy. Even Jesus, when he fought the enemy in the word of God, he fought with scripture because the devil knows scripture more than you do. Yeah. And so you need to know how to fight him. So that was like an example. Another example of what this could look like is our daughter Maria, she grew up in foster care, never had a family. The Lord called me and my husband to be her parents. She moved in with us and it was hard because she had so much trauma. She had so much abuse, so much, so much pain. But she was finally in a safe place of healing. And remember one day her coming home from work so upset. And I was like, what's wrong? She's like, nothing, nothing. And she just, you know, runs to her room and I'm, girl, what is going on here? You know, house? And um, she's like, it's. It's like, I feel like the word slut is on my forehead. And I was like, what? And she's like, mom, like how was that work? So she used to go to this work at this bakery. She would get there at 6:00 AM open up, like there was like these construction workers and this one construction worker came to the window and was like kind of like flirting with me on messy. And then he pulled his pants like down. He, not all the way down, but showed himself. Yeah. Did you call the police? You know? Yeah. She called the cops and she's like, no, no, I just went to the basement. And that stuff always happens to me mom. And all of a sudden like, not in my house, you know what I'm saying? I was like, that stuff's not gonna happen to you anymore. I rebuked that in Jesus' name. And she's like, oh, like you could control that. Oh, like you could control that. You can't control that. And I was like, so she ran into her room and I was like, I'm going into prayer. And I went into my room. I was like, father, What is this? What is this lord? This thing following her and the fact that she accepts it. Mm. Like accepting this, like this is how it is. This is the things that happened to me. That's my lot in life. I said, uh, no, I break this, whatever this is. So as I prayed, I thought the Lord speak to my heart. And he said, you need to break the generational sin cycle and curses from her mother. And I'm like, from her mother. Whoa. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so I, um, went into prayer. I get on my knees and I was like, Jesus, I come against every spiritual darkness against my daughter. She is now part of our family. She is in Christ Jesus. And I break off in Jesus' name, every sin, every cycle, every curse from her mother in the name of Jesus. And I'm just, you know, praying, going to war in prayer. I tell her, I said, mama, I feel like there's something that has to do with your mom. Now. We have been working with her on the power of forgiveness because in order to have for forgiveness and freedom, you have to forgive others that have hurt you. And so she was working on forgiving her family things and that people who abused her. And at this time she was starting to develop a relationship again with her biological mom. And so she's like, well, you know, I have a scheduled dinner with her. You know, like meeting up at McDonald's with her and her mom is deaf and you. And she was like, um, I wanna meet with her and if the Lord allows, I wanna ask her about this. Like, you know, to see if there's something there about my mom or pray that God would show me something. So she meets with her mom and she asked her, why was I taken at two from you? You know? And she's like, well there was sexual abuse with a family member, but also, you know, I would sell myself when I was pregnant with you. And when she got on that bus home, she's like, you know what she said? She's like, she, when she was pregnant with me and my sister, cuz she's a twin. Yeah. She's like, we like, you know, saw her body for money because she was hurting and all this stuff. So right there it would like, like, like the wisdom of the Holy Spirit was like this spirit of perversion has been following my daughter since. Birth. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. Since birth, this thing has been following her. Mm-hmm. She's a Christian, she loves Jesus. She read survival. She's on the worship team, but it would be like, dudes would just be like, Hey girl. Like real, nothing like, like a demonic spirit. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. And I was like, well, it, it's broken. And I told her father, my husband, my father we're praying. We prayed over her and even in her dreams she would be attacked and assaulted and we broke off assault off of her. So a couple weeks later, she's like, mom, I had this amazing dream. And I'm like, what dream? She goes, Of guys trying to grab me and they, they came towards me and I just grew and grew and grew like a giant. And I like, they like ran away from me. He's like crying. Not once have I ever drunk, like I was victorious, but this is the first time I drunk that I was in victory. Wow. And it was just so powerful. Thank you, Jesus. God. And I'll tell you, she will say to this day that, that that doesn't happen to her anymore. Literally. Yes. Praise the Lord. Thank you Jesus. Yes. That's what I mean by like, there's something happening, right? There's something generational. Right? You even got like Abraham in the Bible, like. Abraham's dad was tedra. It says that he was an idol maker. He made idols. Okay, now you got God calling Abraham to himself, the father of faith. Okay? And he broke that. He made God Yahweh, his only God. Cuz that's the first commandment. There's only one God. Yeah. You can't be worshiping other gods. Yeah. Can't be worshiping money. You can't be worshiping idols. And so he broke that when he had his son, uh, his promised son, Isaac, later in life. He offered his son. The, the Lord said, gimme your son. And he offered his son in faith. And God's like, okay, you don't have to, you don't have to kill your son. But I wanted to see if you would, um, be obedient even to offer me everything that I had given you. Right? It's like he broke idle worship right there. But something that I, uh, Abraham did not break. What was lying. Okay. He lied about Sarah. And then you see in his, uh, lineage, which you guys can study it on your own in, uh, Genesis 20, uh, six through 12. He lies about Sarah. He's like, oh, she's my sister. Even though it's like a half lie, cuz she was partly sister, uh, half sister, but he's like, just pretend you're my sister. So they don't kill me. They don't kill you. Yeah. And um, the Lord defended her. You could read that story. And then in Genesis 26 you have Isaac and Rebecca and he also lied. Same thing. And then you got Genesis 27, 18 through 29. You got Jacob and Isaac and they, there's a live there. Mm um, and then you have Genesis 37, the 10 sons and Joseph, they lie on Joseph and he gets captured. So it was this, this, these lies, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. So I have a friend, she's like, girl, I love Jesus, but I found myself that I lie. And I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, like stupid lies. You know? Like, people be like, why you like girl? She's like, oh, traffic and this happening, and that didn't happen. And she'd be like, oh yeah, I couldn't buy that because, you know, she would just, these lies would come outta her mouth. And she's like, my dad's a liar. And I remember my mom saying My grandfather was a liar. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, I'm not, I need to break this off of me. Yeah. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. And she was like, father, I confess my sin. Forgive me of the sin of line and break this. Generational sin and cycle in the name of Jesus. And every time she felt tempted to lie, even though it's like, oh, it's a little bite light. No, no, no. She was like, I'm late cuz I'm running late. Yeah. I'm late. Cause because I was procrastinating. Yeah. You know, and that's it. Yeah. Yes. So you have to like, recognize it, admit it, confess it. And then there's times where you have to literally renounce. Mm. You have to renounce things. So, um, recently this past year, a girl, after she heard me share my story about my daughter was like, can I meet with you? And I'm like, sure. You know, and we met and she's like, I feel like that spirit of assault that you were talking about has happened to me too. And she kind of goes into her story and I said, Is there anything connected to your mom, your dad? And she's like, well, my mom did say, you know, when I was little, say that your dad assaulted you so that he doesn't have, um, custody. All this stuff. It was a mess. It was, it was not a good situation. And then she was just identifying like, wait a second. That happened when I was three. And I think like literally that spirit of assault was following me. Said, okay, so now we're gonna break off word curses words that your mother spoke over you. Yeah. That weren't even true. You came in agreement with that lie and started agreeing with her with and spreading that lie affected your father. And she's like, yes. And so girl, lay hands on her. Pray for her father. I break this vow that she said, the thing she came in agreement with, with her mom, that she was little. No longer will these demonic forces of assault follow her in the name of Jesus. Mm. But then I'm like, sensing more. I was like, what else are you sensing? She's like, I can't sleep. I things move in my house. I hear things, you know, like demonic things. And I'm like, I feel like, like, is there anything in your house you need to like rid of? Throw away? Yeah. And she's like, what do you mean? You know? Yeah. And I could see kind of this sort of guilty feeling over her. And I'm like, yeah, what? What's coming to your mind girl? You know? She's like, yeah, you know, and she's like, well, um, like do you think like, My astrology books and I was like, oh yeah, you got astrology books like horoscope, you know, all that stuff. And we take those things lightly, but we are turning to other things to tell us about our future when we just need to turn to Jesus. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And she's like, like terra cards. I was like, oh yeah, you know what? Lemme get a piece of paper. So I've got a piece of paper. I was like, we gonna write down all of it. Yeah. Cause you gonna renounce each thing by name and you're going to ask for forgiveness by name and you're gonna go home and throw all of these things away. Yeah. And if you can't burn it, you know, and she's like, ok, so tear cards, chakra bowls, you know, things you be doing and you know, get good energy, out. It's like, like I burn s and I'm like, okay, are you burning sage? Cuz you like the smell. And she's like, no. My parents say used to like get rid of evil spirits. I'm like, girl, you are inviting evil spirits into your home. That's the lie of the devil. Yeah. The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. But God says, I want to bring you life and life and abundance. Yeah. Yeah. And so you know, for context here, okay, in Deuteronomy seven mm-hmm. It says, you must burn the idols in fire and you must not covet the silver or gold that covers them. You must not take it or it will become a trap for you, or it is detestable to the Lord. Dear God, do not bring any detestable objects into your home for them. You will be destroyed just like them. You must utterly detest such things for they are set apart for destruction. Deuteronomy 7 25 versus. 7 25 through 26. So I, I said, those things are just testable. We're gonna break it. And she's like, you know, I have a t-shirt of a guy that he, he was abusive. Like, and I, I dunno why I kept his t-shirt, even though we're broken up. I'm like, girl, get rid of that. These soul tight, right? Yes. And she's like, oh my god. Pictures things of guys. I was, please, I need to throw it away. I'm like, throw it away. Throw it away. So we literally go line by line, father, forgive me for my sage, forgive me for my tear cards. Forgive me father for, you know, trusting in my horoscope instead of trusting in you. Forgive me for doing chakra. Forgive me God for, you know, like she went line by line by line. And then when she went home, she threw it all away and she took a picture. She's like, look, I'm throwing it away. Accountability. Yeah. Because you don't wanna be keeping that in a bag. And you're like, I'm gonna put away on Tuesday. No, no. Get rid of it right away. Yeah. And then also don't be like, I'm gonna sell this stuff. Okay. Cause that's the other thing. I'm gonna sell this girl. Cause it's a lot of money. She did ask about that, like, like, we shouldn't like sell this. Yeah. Like, no, I have a beautiful evil eye, you know, uh, necklace and majo, right? Mm. Yeah. And our culture that we even put it on little babies with the little eyes. Yes. Mm-hmm. But we're trusting in an object to ward off evil spirits. Yeah. No. Yeah. We have the blood of Jesus, right? Yeah. And so she's like, I said, let's read Acts 1919. These people took their witchcraft books and burned it and it says it amounted up to like the millions. Okay. It was expensive. When it added it all up together, She said, wow. Why do you think they put like that verse, like how expensive it was. I'm like, why do you think she's like, because it's like Jesus is like worth it. I'm like, yeah, yeah. He is worth it and your freedom is worth it. Yes. You see what I'm saying? Yes. Your freedom is worth it. Mm Yeah. You don't want the devil having access to you. No. You gotta close all them doors. Even my cousin, I was talking to her, she's like, you know what, I got a dream catcher in my house. I said, why we, why we got dream catchers? They so cute at five below. The devil is crafty. When you go to Five Below, you go to Barnes and Noble. It feels like a botanica. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It feels like a, a witchcraft

Ann: 26:30

store. Yes.

Melody: 26:32

Yes. Where you're like, yeah, it's not in a corner anymore. No. You see what I'm saying? It's not in the back. No, it's, it's, it's everywhere. It's entrance. I, I, I took my baby to the baby section to read her books and there was for baby. Yes.

Ann: 26:49

Yes.

Melody: 26:51

Who? Yeah. And so I'm like, okay, we need to educate our people. Yes. Because they're getting enthralled by these things. And here's the other thing says is that a doctrine of demons that I think has entered the church. That once you're saved, you don't deal with demons, demons won't bother you, you're fine. Mm-hmm. And I don't think we're seeing the power of Christ, the power of the Holy Spirit, the power of God in churches. So our kids are being enticed by witchcraft. Yeah. Because it's powerful.

Ann: 27:29

Yes. They're looking for some type of spirituality with power. And so they don't come on see it in the church, but they see it in a five below book. They'll see it. Hello. You know? And you're absolutely right with that sis, because our children will be introduced to spiritual warfare whether we prepare them or not. So it's up to us to prepare them.

Melody: 27:52

Yes, yes, definitely. And so, My daughter's 13. We talked to her about these things. Yeah. We seen Maria, our daughter, she grew up in foster care. We seen hands on how there was such demonic things in her life that we had to break off of her. Yeah. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. And there were times where we were like, this is, this is not just a regular, this is a demon. You see what I'm saying? And it was like, come out in Jesus' name. And I think that that's like a whole nother podcast we could do. Yeah, it is. Yeah. The deliverance and all this stuff. But I, for a long time have felt like, yeah, I can't really talk about this in certain churches, you know, because they don't, you know, we don't wanna talk about, but I'm like, nah, man. Like the Bible wants you free. Yes. And I'm. The freedom of Christ in people's life, but I'm also seeing strong bondage in people's life. Yes. And um, I love this verse. Um, girl, I know I'm getting older when I can't read. I'm like reading glasses. Um, okay. Gala three, but Christ has rescued us from the curse pronounced by the law. When he was hung on the cross, he took upon himself the curse for our wrongdoing. Where it is written in the scriptures curse. It is everyone who is falling on a tree through Jesus Christ. God has blessed the Gentiles with the same blessing he promised to Abraham so that we who are believers might receive the promise. Holy Spirit, through faith, thank you Jesus, for he died on the cross. For our freedom. Yes. So that he can take us from death to life. Yes. So that he can set us free from a life of sin so that the generational sins and cycles in our family could be broken so that we can fight against the demonic. Okay. So that we can advance his kingdom. This is something that's so needed. So even after I spoke at the retreat, um, a woman came to me and was like, I have had this, um, inlet for years. And she's like, And I'm gonna break it. I'm taking it off right now. Oh my God. And we, the women were witnessing it. She said, I bin this in Jesus name. Forgive me God that I put my trust in this. I'm throwing it away right now. We threw it away. She had put it in the recycle bin. Yeah. And then this girl was like, no, no, no. Put it in the garbage. Yeah. Yeah. And so we put it in the garbage.

Ann: 30:53

One of the things that I loved and I have to keep going back to it cuz I know most women, um, it just really ministered to their hearts when you talked about it ends with you. Right. It, it ends with you. Yes. What responsibility do we have in this? What is our part in this sis?

Melody: 31:11

That's so good. So for example, my dad, he dabbled in lots of religions and he did Santeria. Well when it started like getting into like. Putting up chickens and blood. And he was like, oh, this is getting too much. You know? And his mom had Catholicism, witchcraft, illa stuff. So she had sinks in her closet with candles and like, you know, this person did this to me, so I'm gonna put these spices and pretty much curses and spells, okay? Mm-hmm. And, um, oh, if you want this person to fall in love with you, put this in crystals and rocks and all that stuff. And he was like, I need to renounce this. But he was still struggling with it. And he had gone to like this spiritual meeting or whatever. And, um, in the meeting, the medium, the guy who's channeling what they think are good spirits, but they're demons, he's like, someone is here that shouldn't be in here. You must go. You know you don't belong here. Hallelujah. He was like, I'm outta here. He left and he, he repented. Okay? So he stood on his biblical foundation. I love you, Jesus. I wanna serve you. I confess that you died on the cross for my sins. You resurrected from the dead. Forgive me for my sin. So you gotta ask God for forgiveness so that you can be saved. But then you have to also confess it. Forgive me for doing sania. Forgive me for idle worship. Forgive me for putting curses on people forgive like by name. Yeah. And then you need to commit to obedience. You need to throw anything away. You need to cut off ties. Oh, but those are my friends. No, no, no. He told those people, I can't go to your meetings anymore. I'm not doing this anymore. They tried to threaten him like, oh, you, you better be careful. You better be careful. He's like, You better be careful. Yeah. He's like, I'm a child of God. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. And he plead the blood of Jesus. He had, he had to get around a local church to be with him, to keep him accountable. And then he forgave. That's a big one. Our responsibility to is to forgive. Forgive yourself, for instance, and forgive those who've harmed you and hurt you because one of the ba, one of the beta Satan is, uh, unforgiveness and bitterness. You may not have victory in your life, sis or brother because you have anger and bitterness in your heart. Or own an uncle who hurt you, your mother who abandoned you, your father who cursed you, right? Those things, you have to release them now you may not have that opportunity to go. Sometimes you need to forgive someone who's already dead. You see? Yeah. So you ask, he asked for forgiveness. You forgive others, and then you need to renounce it. I renounce my sage, I renounce my terror cards, and then you need to throw it away. Mm. Okay. Yeah. My name is Melody car. Before used to when I learned that my mom named me after. After which. Saint. Okay. That she used to pray to. Mm-hmm. She doesn't anymore. She saved now praise Lord. Yeah. But I was like, I rebuke that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not named after her. Okay. No. Jesus. You name me, melody, uh, charity for you, Jesus. Okay. Not for any other saint. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. And so Jesus says, you come to me you pray to me, and I go to the Father. Right. We don't go to Mary. No. We don't go to St. Joseph Santo Santo, that we go to Jesus. Yeah. Jesus is the bridge. Jesus is the bridge from the kingdom of darkness. Yeah. To the kingdom of light. Mm. And so that is our responsibility. We renounce. We gotta break off stuff, we gotta throw stuff away. And then we need to lean into Jesus, lean into the Holy Spirit, lean into the word pray, get in a good local church. And we need to read his word. Yeah. And you still gotta resist. You still gotta resist the enemy. So I'll give you an example. Crazy. Um, I don't even know, I think I was married eight years, I don't even know the year. But I'm married and I was home. My husband's like, Hey babe, um, the at t guy's gonna come and uh, fix the internet. Cause we were having issues. And I'm like, okay. You know, doorbell rings. I open the door. I'm like, he's like, hi, I'm here for fix the internet. I'm like, ok. And I'm looking like, man, this guy looks familiar. You know? Mm-hmm. But it's like, it's all happening quick. But you know how it feels like it's a slow motion, you know? Yeah. Uhhuh, where you're like, Who is this person? Right. And I'm looking at him, and the Lord like reminds me, this boy used to like me when I was 15 and try to come around in my twenties. And I was, oh, I remember him. And I had a little crush on him before, and I was like, oh my goodness, I can't believe this is happening right now. You know? Yeah. And he's like, melody, thank God I had forgot his name. I'm like, what's your name again? Come explain. You know? So he comes in, I'm saying he came a little bit like. Like looking around, like I was like, I dunno what he thinks about to happen right now, but Uhuh not at my house, you know? Yeah. So he's like, oh, is this your, your internet, you know, box. And, but he just seemed a little, he wasn't doing anything. I just felt it. Okay. I just felt like, mm, I don't know about this dude. So I'm like, yeah, married, happily married, you know, I have kids. He's like, ah, me too. I'm married too. I'm like, oh good. Yeah. Praise God, you know? Yeah. And um, you know, he's fixing it. I go and I text to my accountability because they know, because I used to share a story about this guy and I was like, girl, the ice, call him the lust of the ice. I like girl, the lust, my lut of is. So I got my sisters praying for me. I, I unlocked the back door. I opened the back door. I was like, did this dude try something? I'm running. I'm running outta, yeah. Yep. I ain't going out like that. You know what I'm saying? Nope. And you know some people, and they'll hear this story and they'll go, I, it's not that serious. Yeah. Mm-hmm. But how many times have we heard of a preacher or somebody with authority and influence? Fall? Yeah. Oh my. And you're like, how? Yeah. But like how, cause of stuff like this? Yes. Yes. Okay. Yep. You need to be alert. Yeah. And sober. And so I was like, and then I was like, and I could feel this like, tell later. Hmm, I, your husband leader, you know? Mm-hmm. And I was like, mm-hmm. No. Cuz he was teaching a class and I was like, Hey babe. And he knows the story too. I'm like, the luck of the eyes is here. I'm like, he, he, he's already CT guy. Craziness. The devil's a liar. I love you. We'll talk about it later. Mm. So, ok. He's about to leave. He's like, thank you so much. I'm like, thank you. And he's like, so are you happy?

Ann: 39:14

Mm.

Melody: 39:15

Now in that moment, that is like a moment like eve talking to the serpent again. Okay? We don't talk to the devil. I'm not saying he's the devil, but the enemy is all up in this, okay? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We don't have conversation. Yeah. And I said, I'm very happy. And I opened the door like, let's go, you know? Yeah. And he's like, oh, okay. I just wanted to ask. I was like, okay. And I wasn't about to be like, and what about you, brother? Are you happy? No. We ain't having a conversation. There's no conversation here. No, this is wrong. We're sh shutting this thing down. Yes. No. What if you weren't happy? You still don't answer that question. Yes. You see what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Me and my, me and my man we're like having a lot of problems. Me and my husband. No girl. That ain't the brother to talk about that.

Ann: 40:05

No,

Melody: 40:06

no. You talk about that with your sister in Christ. Mm-hmm. But see, we fall for these traps. Yeah. Oh, too often I was like, I'm very, mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm like, I'm very happy. Bye. And he's like, oh. And when we were younger, he would always say, oh, can I get a hug? And he was like, oh, I can't get a hug. I'm like, no, let's go. And I was like, almost like pushing the door. Yeah.

Ann: 40:28

I unlock that

Melody: 40:29

door. Oh, you gotta go the devil house. I'm like, the devil ran. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. And so when my husband got home, he just like, wait, what happened? You know? And, and then I told him, and it was, you know, I was like, I, this is like, uh, you know, and he's like, well, are you happy, babe? I'm like, yes, honey, I'm happy. And he's like, no, but I wanna make sure, which I think was a very beautiful thing as my husband to, yeah. To, to check. Check your garden. How's it going? Right. Your marriage is a garden. How's this marriage doing? Right. That's right. And I'm like, no, we're good babe. He's like, okay, good. You know? And now we don't have ATT anymore. Love that. No change to att. But yeah, it was a little situation, but you know what? Mm. Because I'm aware of the sin of adultery in my family. Mm. I was like, mm-hmm. Yeah. And so what does that mean? You gotta say ahead of things. There'll be times where I'd get a speaking contract to work with someone, but I could feel that person kind of admires me a little too much as a male. And I'm like, wait a minute, but I need the money and. But I have to work with a certain person that I feel is not looking at me just as a sister in Christ. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. And I have to be honest and real and talk to my husband about it. And I said, babe, I don't feel good about this contract. And he's like, then don't do it. Mm. We will trust God for provision. You know? It's not like he would be like, what? You wanna be with him? See, that's not, that's not it. And that's something, that's another podcast for marriages. Yeah. Like we have to be willing to share with our spouse if we feel vulnerable about something. Yeah. If we feel an attraction or we feel some kind of temptation, or we feel like, Hmm, I don't know about this person. Yeah. And not be like, what? What's wrong with you? Wait. You know, he didn't judge me. He said, okay, if you feel that that could be a demonic trap, no, we gonna cut that deal off. Right. Yeah. And we had to trust the Lord for his provision. Mm. So that's what I mean by like, You know, if, if you struggle with pornography and you're like, I struggle with this. Like there's the breaking the confession and then there's the plain old, you need to put your phone in the bathroom at night, you can't have it in your room. Yeah. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. There's the practical, like, I can't have cable because there's just too much stuff out there. Or, you know, like you have to, like, you have to set yourself up for obedience. Yes. And sometimes obedience is inconvenient. Yes. And so, but Jesus is worth it.

Ann: 43:27

You know, one of the things that you mentioned, at the conference when you were talking about obedience, you said, obey and let the feelings catch up. And I love that you said that.

Melody: 43:38

Yeah. We, we wait to feel like obey. Mm-hmm. I don't feel it, but I don't feel it like, no, you need to forgive whether you feel it or not. You need to cus stuff off, whether you feel it or not. And then let the feelings catch up later. Yeah. Be obedient and let the feelings catch up later. And I remember there was a sister in Christ who hurt my feelings really bad. Bad. And the Lord said, bless her, like with money. Cause she was, it was a baby shower. And I was like, I'm her Lord. But you see my nose, you see my nose. I,

Ann: 44:19

okay,

Melody: 44:20

this is a sign of something in here. Mm. Okay. When, when you're scrolling on Instagram mm-hmm. And Facebook and you go, mm. Right. Your nose flares up. There's something in here bitter. Mm-hmm. That just made your face. Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. Thank face. Right? Yeah. And so that's an indicator. Ooh. Yeah. And that's something against her. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And God's like, I, I don't want that in your heart. Mm. And I want you to forgive her. I want you to tell her you forgive her cuz she knows she did wrong. Yeah. And I want you to bless her. And I was like, I don't feel like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I met with her and I was like, you know, you really hurt my feelings when X, Y, and Z. And she's like, I'm sorry, at least she said she was sorry. Some people won't. Yeah. She was like, I'm sorry, I know that was wrong, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I said, but I wanna bless you. The Lord told me, bless you, and here's$50 towards your breast pump. You know your, yeah. Her nursing pump. And she, um, she just paused. Her eyes got glossed over. She said, thank you, melody. You're a real Christian. You're one of the real ones. I don't really see a lot of real Christians, so it was ministering to her heart. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And I'm not perfect. I I, I did it out of straight obedience. I did not feel it. Mm. I was still like inside, right? Yeah. Yeah. As soon as I walked out of that cafe, I was like, thank you, Lord for helping me obey. Like a joy started coming upon me. Yeah. And I started worshiping in the car, you know? Yeah. And it may, you may get that feeling. You may not. But the important thing is you obeyed.

Ann: 46:09

Yes. Cuz when it's a big cost, right? Yes. Sometimes it's releasing Yes. Relationships, sometimes it's re releasing. Someone very dear to you in your life, Right. And a lot of times, yes, we even wrestle with that idea of, you know, is that Christian of me to, to just, release that person. Um, what would you say? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes we have those wrestling thoughts. Is this Christian of me to release this person that God's asking me to release? You know, or, or that I feel led to release because

Melody: 46:42

of what, when you say release, are you saying like, um, forgiveness or what are you like thinking of release

Ann: 46:49

meaning like, um, cut them off, you know, that's the other way of putting it. Like releasing them, cutting

Melody: 46:55

them off? Yes. Okay. Yes, I think, oh yeah, we feel like that's not very godly, you know, to, but there's times that you need to cut this person off and mm-hmm. Okay. So, you know, let's say you have a mom or a dad who's into witchcraft and you love our men. You bless them. You honor them. Yeah. Maybe come for Christmas and New Year's and all that, but you're not hanging with them all the time. Mm-hmm. Because let's just say they're toxic. Okay. Let's just say they're always spewing things on you, and you leave depressed. You leave feeling so heavy every time you're over there. Yeah. If you feel like you're not the one influencing them, they're actually influencing you. There may be some space that's needed. Now, when it comes to like a friend, right? A friend, you could have a coffee once in a while, but when they're like in stray sin and you're living a totally different lifestyle, the Bible says, do not be unequally yoked. Okay? He's not talking about. Egg yolk. What he's talking about is when you have two animals who have yolks, it's like a piece of wood. Mm-hmm. And the wood is your whole, your, your head pops in and that, that head pops in of these two animals, they, they carry a load together. Yeah. Okay. They're yoked together. But if you got this thing on your head and this person, your friend got this thing and you're all like trying to pull few forward, they're gonna hold you back. Yeah. You're gonna be constantly held back by this person. That's why the bible, single lady, single men, you don't wanna marry somebody who doesn't know Jesus. Yeah. Now, obviously, if you got saved, You're already married. You gotta love your husband, love your wife. Pray for them for their salvation. Yeah. But if you are still single, you wait for a golly man, a godly woman. A real golly man. A real golly woman. Not somebody who just post scriptures on Instagram. Like you put a verse girl. Yeah. Does he live the first? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You know, when you tell him you're not having sex, you get married, is he like, oh, well, really? Does the private really say that? You know. Yeah. And I know it's, it's hard out here. It's ghetto out here these days, and it's like, we gotta stand our ground. Mm. Yeah. My husband and I, we saved sex for marriage. It is possible. I was a 28 year old virgin. And my husband was a 30 year old man who was a little bit for, by the time we got married, seven years. Praise God. Yeah. And so that's a testimony that he could keep you, it's a testimony that he could preserve you. And you know, we kept boundaries high. Like I was like, I'm not gonna be alone in the house with you. And he is like, yeah, and I'm not gonna kiss you to our wedding day. And I What? Engaged. Cause I wanted kiss engagement and he was like, no. Yeah. He was like, I'm trying to stay. Holy girl. And if I kiss you Yeah. One thing only to another. And sex is beautiful and holy in marriage. Yes. And so you gotta put the fire in the fireplace of marriage. Yeah. You take it out of the fireplace of marriage, you gonna get burned. And so, yeah. We were like, okay, I have to respect him, but I would kiss him like right here, and he babe playing with me. Yeah. But we were not alone, and it was so hard, you know? So, yeah. Yeah. I had to cut off people who don't respect me. I have to cut off people who, you know, if you, if you're just draining the life out of me and you're not, you're not listening, I try to minister to you. You don't wanna listen. I'll see you during the holidays, you know,

Ann: 50:58

Before we close this episode, melody,, you had asked me what is something important that I'd like you to talk about? One of the things Yeah. The common threads that I hear amongst young women and even, Women my age. Right. I hear that they struggle with identity issues knowing who they are in Christ and knowing whose they are. Would you speak into that?

Melody: 51:23

Yes. I, you know, I really believe that you have to get into the Bible and so, you know, getting a Bible that you understand, um, whether that's, uh, E S v, uh, n l t, uh, I like new Living translation. And, um, it was a verse that I was like, I really feel like I want them to hear this. Um, first John, first John three, eight through 10, you know, but when people keep on sinning, it shows that they belong to the devil. Who has been sinning since the beginning, but the son of God came to destroy the works of the devil. God wants to destroy the works of the enemy in your life. Those who have been born into God's family do not make a practice of sinning because God's life is in them. You know, sometimes we, we teach like you're such a sinner. You're such a sinner, and we stay in that mindset. But actually, when you come to Christ and you confess him as Lord and Savior, you believe that he ascended, he will directed from the dead. You are now a new creation. You're a dash child. You're actually no longer a sinner. You're a. And so we are a saint who struggles with sin, but we're no longer a sinner. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. So you need to know your identity is, I'm a, I'm a new creation in Christ Jesus. I'm a, I'm not a sinner, I'm saint. You. See, I'm bride. I'm bride of Christ. I'm not, I'm not, you know, my friend. I mean, we're gonna keep it 100. She's like, I went from hope to holy. You see what I'm saying? Yes. I was crazy. I was out there, I was sleeping around. I was, but now I'm holy. Yes. You see? Yes. And so if you struggle, you confess your sin, you repent and you get back up again. But you don't make it a practice of sinning. You say, no, I have a new nature. The Bible says I have a divine nature. Yeah. Against sin, right? Yeah. And it says so. Um, So now we can tell who are the children of God and who are the children of the devil. Anyone who does not live righteously and does not love other believers, does not belong to God. This is first John chapter three. Okay. Yeah. And so this, the word ain't playing. Yeah. You know, in the hood. Right. It when, when they were like, what you write, I'll gain you in. You're the force us. You're against us, right? Yeah. The Bible's like, you're the, for me, you're against me. Mm. You with me, or you're not. Yeah. Okay. And so you have to say, no, I'm with God. Okay. Now, who am I? The word of God is gonna tell you who you are. Yeah. Now, Oprah. Nope. Not a podcast. Right. Maybe this podcast. Cause we talk about Jesus. Yes. Not the world. Yeah. Magazines like, we gotta get our identity as women and none of God from the word of God. Mm-hmm. And so sometimes, you know, you go through stuff and you have a past and you're like, man, I feel worthless. I feel like I'm unclean. You know, all these things. Yeah, no, you're a new creation in Christ. Jesus. My husband, he got saved in college. He was a wild college boy, frat boy. He stopped having sex. He stopped looking at pornography. He, he cut off certain friends and he was like, I wanna be holy. For God made me holy. And when we got married, we both were white because we're made new in Christ. Yeah. And you know, someone told my dad, I'm Christian man. He's like, you know your daughter's a virgin. Don't you think she's a deserve a virgin? And my dad said, deserve. We don't deserve nothing. Mm. None of us deserve anything. No. But we deserved hell yeah. For our sins. But Christ died for us. Amen. Hung on a tree for us. Mm-hmm. Resurrected from the dead for us. He said us free. He don't make uh uh, bad people good. He makes dead people alive. Yeah. Do you see what I'm saying? So Christ has made us alive in him. Mm. And so just as he saved me and rescued me, he saved my husband. I'm not better than my husband cuz I'm a virgin. Right. Because you got people who are virgins, but they looking at pornography and lusting in their heart. The Bible says even if you look at somebody with lusting your eyes, that's adultery. So God, God cares about this. Yes. You know? Yes. And so we gotta confess our sin. We gotta come clean, we gotta cut things off. We gotta know who we are in Christ and we gotta stand in it. Mm.

Ann: 56:18

Put it on your

Melody: 56:18

mirror. Print out verses. You know? Yeah. Affirm yourself with the word

Ann: 56:25

yes. Yes. Melody, thank you so much for sharing that. I do believe you know, this podcast, the women that have been on here, I, myself, I'm a firm believer that our identity is in Christ and the way we affirm it is through his word and through his Holy Spirit. Right. It's hallelujah. Yes, yes. And, and thank you for leaving us with those words of truth and encouragement., I pray that, you know, maybe one day we can connect with you and your husband and, and I can have my husband here and we can talk to the marriages.

Melody: 56:59

Yes. Yes. And, you know, whatever you wanna share, please do. And then if I could pray for the people at the end, I wanna pray too.

Ann: 57:07

Absolutely. Well, you can actually, we're about to close this out, so Please, you're more than welcome to pray us out. All right.

Melody: 57:16

Well, if you're listening right now and you're like, man, I needed this. This is me. I wanna break strongholds in my family. I wanna break strongholds like I wanna tell you, I grew up in the hood. Everybody around me was getting pregnant. Everybody around me was in drugs. James. I felt like, God, how do I have a different life? I knew I wanted to save sex until marriage. I knew I wanted a, a, a good marriage, but I didn't see that, that too much around me in my neighborhood. But I knew I could break cycles through Jesus Christ. And you are a cycle breaker and a legacy maker. And so I want you to pray this prayer with me, okay? But I want you to say, Lord Jesus, you are the son of God. You died on the cross for my sins. You took the curse of sin upon you. You broke the sin of, uh, the curse of sin. You, you died and you resurrected on the third day. You have power over sin and darkness. I forgive right now, Lord, right now to forgive you and be specific. If you gotta press pause and just start saying what you're asking him to forgive you, do that. Forgive me, Lord for my sin. Forgive me Lord, for the sin of my ancestors. Father, forgive me for the adultery of my family. Forgive me for the gang banging in my family. Forgive me for the, the, the drugs in my family. Stand in the gap for your family right now. Forgive me, Lord, for my abortion. I break the curse of abortion in the name of Jesus. Forgive me for the divorce. Forgive me for the adultery. Forgive me, Lord, for the drugs. Forgive me. I mean, you just say it right now and I forgive myself. Go ahead and ask the Lord to forgive you, that you would forgive yourself and then say, God, I renounce. I renounce all objects of the occult. I renounced any contact with the occult. I renounced the Ouija board. I renounced any witchcraft I did where as a kid I renounced. The witchcraft put on me that my family put on me. I renounced in the name of Jesus witchcraft. I renounced it right now, and I say, holy Spirit, say, holy Spirit, is there anything you want me to throw away? Holy Spirit, is there anything in my house I need to get rid of? Holy Spirit, what music do I need to stop listening to? And then you throw it away. You cut it off, you delete what? Who, who? What number do I need to delete out of my phone? What number do I need to block? What number do I need to rename the devil? Don't answer. Okay. Right now, in the name of Jesus, I command every demon, every spirit of darkness to get out of my house right now in the name of Jesus, to get out of me. In the name of Jesus, I release through the authority of Jesus Christ. I release my myself from the curses of my life, from the generational sins in my family, from the generational cycles in my family, in the name of Jesus. It ends with me. Hallelujah. It ends with me. And I receive everything Jesus, that you have for me through your Holy Spirit. In Jesus name,

Ann: 1:00:58

amen. Amen, melody. Thank you so much for, being with us today. Thank you for just sharing the wisdom that the Lord has given you specifically and breaking cycles and, you know, just sharing all that you shared, uh, with our listeners today. I pray that the Lord would continue to bless, uh, your ministry and your husband's ministry. May he continue to Thank you. Yeah. May he continue to show you his favor and use you all, um, to, to minister to marriages out there, um, because the Lord knows need. Yes. Thank you. Need it?

Melody: 1:01:33

Yeah. Thank you. I wanna

Ann: 1:01:35

thank the listeners for tuning into this episode of Her Scars. Tell a story.