"Don't Forget the Prisoner" with Sarah Gonzalez

In this podcast episode, I sit down with my guest Sarah Gonzalez as she shares her story. Sarah followed in her fathers footsteps to serve and minister to the prisoners in Cook County jail. When her father grew ill and passed away. Sarah found herself angry at God and not wanting anything to do with Him. She grew distant from her mother and  would later go through her own journey back to God. Sarah strayed far from the Lord but her mother never gave up praying for her. She is currently serving and ministering to the prisoners in Cook County jail. 
Listen to Sarah's powerful story of God's redeeming grace.

Transcript

Ann: 0:12

Hey there, friends. My name is Anne Calvio and welcome to her Scars Tell a Story, podcast, A safe space for women from all different walks of life and different backgrounds coming together to share their stories of God's redeeming love. So grab your cup of coffee and journey with us now. Hey there friends. Welcome to her Scars. Tell a Story podcast. I'm your host, Anne Calvio, and today I am with a very special guest. Her name is Sarah. Sarah, welcome.

Sarah: 0:54

Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be

Ann: 0:57

here. I actually, met Sarah through my husband. Can you tell me what the name of the church

Sarah: 1:03

Yeah, it, it's, uh, compass Church is where we met, and we are, um, part of a ministry called Nia House Ministries. And we have our, we have a weekly service and fellowship every Thursday at Compass Church in Wheaton.

Ann: 1:20

Okay, yes. I reached out to Sarah and she contacted me back and we've just been going back and forth, but I had the opportunity to hear her story and it just, it blew me away. Um, again, this is the Lord. He, he always has us in awe of him. And so today I am so excited for her to share her story with you. Also, Sarah, go ahead and share your story with us. Amen. Amen.

Sarah: 1:51

Well, um, just as you were talking and reminding me that, um, I met your husband first, uh, I'm remembering that I, I think your husband Omar knows our friend Dean Valk. Yes. And um, And just, you know, before I go into my story, even that was definitely orchestrated of God because, um, you know, we're in Wheaton, Illinois, which is some ways from the city. Mm-hmm. And, um, when I moved out to the suburbs, um, you know, I I was still connected to a lot of the kids in the city, in the jail, um, and from the, uh, specific gang. And so when I met Dean and he told me his story of, you know, where he came from, Uhhuh and his connection to Pilsen, um, and, and just how God has been using Dean to minister to some of some of our kids who are out there. And then he, he said, he told me about you and about your husband. So I'm just seeing, uh, the hand of God very carefully bringing people together. So all of that to say, um, My name is Sarah Gonzalez, and, um, I grew up with a knowledge of the Lord because my parents were both on fire for, for Jesus, my father. Um, he was born again in prison in Los Angeles, California. Um, he was radically born again and delivered, uh, from addiction, perversion, violence, murder, all of those things. The Lord just encountered him, um, and used a, a little church volunteer group that was going into the prisons to share the gospel, and he was forever changed by the love of Jesus. And so, um, he really took the role. Of, um, discipleship and, and, and pouring into his family very seriously. Um, he established a ministry in Cook County Jail in the seventies because at that point he had been serving in his local church. He was being discipled by his pastor. And, um, just as someone had come to him in prison and shared with him about Jesus, um, he had this desire to, to do the same. And, um, you know, one of the things that he said was, he remembers being in prison and. He describes it being in that dark dungeon and saying, God, where is the answer? Is it in drugs? Is it in a, in a gun? Where is it God? And then he said, the good news came by the Christian people and he was set free. Mm. And so, um, the Lord planted that desire in his heart to go back to the jails in prisons and, So the church sent him, they, they sent him like a home missionary into Cook County jail. Yeah. And, um, and he started there and, and, and that's where he met my mother, who was coming in as a religious volunteer through another church. And my mom, she did not grow up, you know, around gangs or prisons. Um, but she, she had been adopted and had her own story of the Lord, uh, saving her, encountering her, and, um, bringing healing to her. And so they got married pretty quickly. Wow. And uh, and my birth was actually prophesied in Cook County Jail. Um, they had been wanting a baby, praying for a baby, I think for four years, Uhhuh. And, um, and. One day my dad was running a service, a church service in the jail. My mom was there and it was a women's service. And the women are always rowdier than the men. Really? And this really, this was a really rowdy group, like okay, really, really kind of raunchy behavior. Just really, really interesting. And, uh, my father was really, um, he, he had no trouble navigating that, but my mom was a little bit uncomfortable. But anyways, he said to the women, to the inmates, he said, I want some of you ladies to come and lay hands on my wife and pray for her because we want a baby. And my mom was like, looking at him like, what are you doing, Andy? Yeah. And they came and they laid hands on her. Um, and within a, a, a short period of time after that, um, there was a volunteer who, who my parents had never met. And she, they were in the jail and she came up to them, to my mother and she said, do you have children? And my mom said, no. And she said, I, I want to share with you that when you were standing over there, I saw a baby. And then with, in another short period of time, my parents got a letter from one of the female inmates at Cook County. Um, she had been moved to a women's prison, but she sent them a letter and she said, the Lord showed me that he's giving you a baby. And, uh, my parents, they went to Cancun and my mom got really sick and she thought, you know, it, it was the food or something, Uhhuh. But my dad said, it's a, it's the baby. It's, it's our child. And so when they got back, um, they found out that that was me. And so they had me and, um, They were so overjoyed. And, um, so my earliest memories are of my father taking me into Cook County Jail as a toddler. And even just conversations with him in the car where, um, I remember one time we drove by this crack house and like, it was crazy. The, the streets were flooded with people running to get their drugs. And um, there were guys at the door, you know, holding guns. And I said to my dad, daddy, are those the bad guys? And he said, yes, they are. But I used to be one of them. And Jesus changed me. Mm-hmm. And, um, just the Lord gave him the grace to speak and, and teach me about the Lord, just through daily life. And he never hid who he was. Mm-hmm. Which I really appreciate now, cuz I ha I know some people whose, you know, parents were, um, involved in similar things like prison and, and, and they kind of keep it from their children. But my dad was so confident in the fact that that old man was dead. Yes. And so he could be so honest and transparent. Yes. Because he knew that Christ had changed him. Mm. Had given him a new heart. So, um, he would bring me into the jail. We would, he would bring. Uh, fried chicken and, and Bibles, and we would do bible study with the inmates and he would tell me, Sarita, don't forget about your brothers and sisters in Cook County jail. And, uh, I loved being in the jail as a child and he would have me sing to the inmates. He, he, the Lord was already using that as a training ground for, for me. Mm-hmm. Um, but, and, and in the meantime, my mother, she, she was very involved with, with the jail, with, uh, my father, but she was also a school teacher, so that was her full-time thing. Yeah. But, um, As, as I got older, um, uh, by the time I turned, uh, six years old, um, my father was, was pretty sick, but we didn't know because like a lot of men, old school guys, he didn't go to the doctor, um, or consider what the doctors would say if he did go. Yeah. And so, um, we went on a family vacation to Bermuda and, uh, I remember. We were, uh, we got to go snorkeling. My dad loved the ocean. He, he always would joke that if he hadn't been a gang member, he would've gone into like marine biology or something. He, he just loved, um, cre seeing God's creation. Um, so we went snorkeling and, uh, had a really sweet time. And then we went to dinner by the water, and I remember. That, um, I got up out, out of my chair and I went over to where he was seated and I said, daddy, sometimes mommy plays these songs and they make me miss you And mm-hmm. I was referring to like worship songs that she would play sometimes when she would exercise. Yeah. Um, and I had, as a kid, I had always kind of experienced this longing for hi for my dad when she would play those songs and if he wasn't there, but I had never communicated that to him. Mm. Until this moment. Mm-hmm. And, and my mom said that when I told him that, that he had tears in his eyes and he took me in his arms and she remembered thinking, why is she saying she misses him? He's right here. He's right in front of her. Well, the next morning I remember we woke up to get ready to go back to the airport and I opened the door of the bathroom, the hotel room bathroom, and he was vomiting blood into the sink. And I know now that that's, that's really the first time that I ever experienced the onset of, of, uh, tormenting fear and anxiety. Cuz I, I really hadn't known that before that moment. Mm-hmm. And, uh, to see, you know, this man who, you know, he was very strong, big guy, uh, wasn't afraid of things. So to see him in that position of, of looking so vulnerable, it was, it was, there was like a humiliation. It was a very uncomfortable way to see him. And we, um, we got on the airplane and I rem to come back to Chicago. And I remember he didn't sit by us. And I remember that being another blow, like why isn't he sitting with us? Mm-hmm. And, um, we arrived in Chicago, we, we, we got to the airport and um, we drove straight to the hospital and, um, and it, within 48 hours he internally bled to death. And, um, I mean, he was, he was bleeding everywhere. It, it was really ugly to see. And so, you know, we, my mother and I, we get home. Our suitcases are still in the car. And um, and so this is really the turning point then, because up until that point, you know, he had me. With him, you know, in ministry, wherever he would go to minister. Mm-hmm. He was taking me with, I loved to worship the Lord as a child, singing to the Lord. I had heard the gospel, um, and I had embraced Jesus. But this was now the turning point where, um, losing him and seeing, um, the devastating effect that it had on my mother, because when, when he died, my mom, she, she would tell you she lost her mind. She just lost it. It was so traumatic. Yeah. Um, so this was a big turning point, uh, in, in, in my life. And that's then where Satan, um, You know, was ready to influence my, my mind with lies about the character of God. Mm. And this is what I see now as a major tactic of satanism to mischaracterize. Yes. The good, perfect, faithful near God. And all of a sudden he, you know, it's like, You get it flipped where, where God starts to look like the cruel one to you. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So that was a major, uh, turning point where, where I remember being in first grade, my, my father went to be with the Lord, Lord August, uh, seventh in 96. I was just starting first grade later that month. And I remember the first week of school going to the, the kid's bathroom and just cursing God's name with every bad word that I knew. And, um, making this inner vow that I will never follow the Lord. And, um, you know, things, things continue to, to, to get worse. Mm-hmm. My mom got worse. She was so, um, devastated. She was suicidal. She was. Depressed. She was walking around saying, I wanna die. So there was just this heavy oppression over our family, over our home. And my mom was adopted, and my dad's family is in la so we did not have a community of believers, um, you know, coming around us. We had our church, but they weren't the type of church that entered into people's lives, you know? Mm-hmm. Um, and so I, I became very angry at God and I, I became angry at my mother because it disgusted me that she would continue to, um, to pursue the Lord after all that had happened. And, um, and so as I got older, my heart just became more and more hardened, more and more angry. Uh, I remember being, Very young and having evil, evil thoughts, evil fantasies, evil desires, uh, wanting to see other people in pain. And, um, and so as I hit, you know, middle school, um, my mom, you know, she could see that, that I was definitely not well. Um, but, you know, she was, she was working a full-time job. She and she herself really didn't, uh, yet experience healing in her healing, inner healing from the brokenheartedness. So she, she was, um, we were just very, uh, there was a division in our family. Yeah. And, um, and so. Hitting junior high, then that's, that's really when I became resistant towards, um, anything having to do with the Lord that she, because as I, I, as I hit junior high, she was then trying to, um, she could see she was losing me. And so then she, and she was a little bit better. So then she's, you know, trying to pull me back in. But I was so resistant. I was so resistant and all, now I'm gravitating towards everything, about everything that's bad. Everything that's sinful, everything that entertains my anger. Yeah. Uh, my depression, uh, my rage, uh, my desire to be numbed. So all of a sudden now I'm gravitating towards, you know, the things that my father gravitated towards. Um, um, Drinking at a young age, stealing at a young age. Um, a lot of, a lot. Just a lot of recklessness. Yeah. Just very reckless because I had no, I, looking back on it, my identity was so skewed at that point. And so, um, yeah, so, so once I hit high school, then, um, just continued to get worse from there. So, you know, I, I say that sometimes things just go from bad to worse. Yeah. And, um, and you know, meanwhile, my mother, she's still serving in the jail. So when my father had gone to be with the Lord mm-hmm. Uh, even though my mom was a full-time teacher, she, uh, continued the jail ministry. And, um, and she's, you know, she would go in and, and she was serving other people's children. And meanwhile I was, um, just so, so. Um, disdainful towards her, towards anything having to do with the Lord. Um, and I, I just went deeper, deeper into darkness, and this is around the time that, um, I started to, uh, learn about, um, uh, witchcraft. But we didn't call it witchcraft. It was more like, like spiritual stuff. Mm-hmm. Um, but, but inwardly, because of my training, my upbringing, yeah. There was a knowledge that it was witchcraft. Mm-hmm. But as, as, as I started to, um, experiment with it more, and, you know, I had friends who, who were building, you know, little altars or, um, you know, saying that, you know, if you need something, if you need money, this is how you can get it. Mm-hmm. Um, I started to gravitate towards it and my conviction. About the fact that it was witchcraft began to, to dwindle. Like, whereas at initially I had some conviction and fear of God. Mm-hmm. Um, that just started to dwindle. And pair that with drugs and alcohol and never being sober. There were so many dark situations, like I listened to you and your husband's testimony mm-hmm. About, you know, the, how those guys pulled up on you and started shooting at you. There were so many situations that I look back on now at this point in my life when I'm like, um, mid-high school and then, and then even after high school where we would be somewhere and, and I, I was not sober at this point. And, and I would just al people, all my friends knew me as the one who would just dip out, like without saying anything. So I look back at all these situations where we would be somewhere and I would just silently exit. Mm-hmm. And then would later find out that a shooting happened or a stabbing happened, or the police came and, you know, raided the house. And, um, Looking back on it, I, I see the, the, the sovereignty of God, but also the grace of God because I did not deserve his protection or covering so many of my friends, got, got raped, got, you know, drugged, got, um, um, in fights, you know? Mm-hmm. Those types of things. And the lord, he, looking back on it, I can see how he was just covering me. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I can see how he was covering me. So, um, all of this to say, you know, as you mess around with witchcraft, things start to happen. Mm-hmm. Um, and I, I was involved with it for a good 10 years and the way that I, as, as I started to, um, I started to come out of like the haze of drugs and alcohol and I started to become like more. Uh, socially conscious meaning like I could see that the way that I was living my life and the way that my friends were living their lives was not leading to anything good. So then there was this new desire to, to be better. And my thought on that, cuz, and this is when like a lot of the, um, like woke, um, stuff about like racial pride, like that was really popular. Like hating white people and being proud of where you come from and where your ancestors are from. That became like my idol or my God, because I, my rationale was that if we really knew who we were and the strength, you know, of our ancestors, then we wouldn't be out here acting crazy. Which, you know, now I recognize. The root of all these issues is sin. It's, it's, it's not having pride in your ancestors cuz your ancestors had the same problems. Your uncles were molesting, you know, other kids in the family. Mm-hmm. Um, but there was this deceptive kind of fog over, over my eyes where I embraced these worldly ideologies. And, um, witchcraft was very much part of that because that was part of reclaiming, you know, your, your identity. And so even so, I started getting involved with like, um, indigenous or, or what they would call Mako or Aztec spirituality where we would build altars. We would do ceremonies and we would mix it with all other types of witchcraft. It was like a buffet of witchcraft. And it was a good 10, 10 years that, that I was doing that and I had never had. W like an outwardly demonic experience that where I could recognize that it was demonic. I know that what I was doing was demonic, but I had never had like a, an experience that scared me, um, until, uh, uh, 2016. And, um, during this time at this point, I was a teacher in a social justice alternative high school right. By Cook County Jail. And, um, that was special to me. Even though I wasn't walking with the Lord, I obviously remembered all of the times that my dad took me to the jail. That mm-hmm. That jail represented my father to me. And, um, and I, I, I, I thought it was fascinating that the school where I taught at was in walking distance of the jail. And, um, a lot, our school was so small and all of the gang members that were there were from the same gang that my father had ministered to in the jail. So there were, there were these constant reminders, like God was setting me up to be reminded. Um, but in 2016, um, I experienced a, a, a demonn tried to possess me and I knew it was a demonn immediately. Mm-hmm. Um, I had had demonic encounters as a child and my father would, would tell me, if you're ever in danger calling the name of Jesus, he would, you know, he would give me scriptures and, and, um, and so here I am at the age of 26 and, um, At the height of like my career and my status within the community, everyone respected me for the work that I was doing. And, and so, you know, of course, you know, the pride puffs up that the, the knowledge that I thought I had acquired puffed me up. Mm-hmm. And, and so then this demonic encounter happens and I'm like, reduced to a puddle because mm-hmm. I had no, uh, uh, power over this demonic entity in. I remember knowing that I needed to call on the name of Jesus, but I was with friends who hated God. And, um, I was ashamed and embarrassed to say his name. I didn't wanna say his name, and I didn't want to say it also because it would mean that I believed in his name. Mm-hmm. And in his authority and in his power. And so there was this wrestle as this Demonn is trying to possess me. I'm wrestling with do I call on his name. And finally the, the demonic attack got so intense that it, it actually became a physical attack where I knew that I would die if I did not. Um, Get rescued by the Lord. And so I, I, I eventually just burst out in song and I started singing the words Cover Me, Jesus. I just sang those three words on loop. And as soon as the name of Jesus came out of my mouth, the Demonn retreated. There was like a very immediate, um, change that took place. And meanwhile, one of my friends, she's sitting with me and she had been involved in, she was actually way deeper into the, uh, Aztec, uh, ceremonies and stuff, and she started singing a song. In Nowk. And it was, it's really like a, it's a song of divination. It's, it's a song of, of witchcraft. But she started singing it like a chant as I was singing, cover Me Jesus. And when she started singing it, the demonn came back and I had to shut her up. I said, you need to be quiet cuz you're not going through what I'm going through. And I remember knowing that, that me telling her to stop singing that was so offensive. I knew she was offended that I was saying Jesus. Mm-hmm. Um, but I couldn't deny that, that the name of Jesus had power. But I, I, you know, eventually the demonic encounter fizzled out. Uh, and I went to sleep and I woke up and I, I just had this sense that, you know, that that was a really crazy experience, but I'm just gonna pretend like it never happened and I'm gonna go about my life as, as usual. And, um, during that time, uh, I, I ended up flying out to Los Angeles and, um, I, I was really into Lowrider cars. Mm-hmm. And there was a Lowrider show that was happening that I got invited to. And, um, when I showed up, it was at a church and, uh, like in their church parking lot. And, uh, I went inside of the church and, uh, I saw, uh, this woman who was worshiping with her guitar and she was singing, you will walk through the fire and not be burned. And I actually recognized her from this, uh, lowrider magazine where they had done a feature on this Christian Lowrider ministry, like a Christian Lowrider Club. And so I'm realizing that that's her and I, um, I hear her singing, you will walk through the fire and not be burned. And I had just had a nightmare that night before that I was in a house that was on fire and that I walked through it like from the back to the front. I walked through and I didn't get burned. Mm-hmm. So when she was singing that I was, I was like, stopped in my tracks. Mm-hmm. And um, and I knew it was God. I knew it was God, but I was still very cold towards him. Mm-hmm. But at the end, um, I went up to her and I introduced myself and I told her about my dream and she said, well, the song that I'm singing is actually found in scripture. It's from Isaiah 43. And she took me to that chapter and, and I was just pierced, but still cold. Like it, it was definitely getting my attention, but I was still resisting. Yeah. And so she asked me, have you been born again? And I said, uh, I don't think so. Mm-hmm. And basically that I don't. Want anything to do with God and the white man's religion. Mm-hmm. And she basically was like, yeah, you know, I, I, I know, I know what you're saying cuz I used to, you know, believe those things, but God is on your trail. It's only a matter of time and he'll show you who he is. And so, um, I flew back to Chicago and a friend of mine, um, who is involved with L G B T Q activism, she invited me to go, uh, to New York City because National Geographic was gonna photograph her for their cover. And so I said, yeah, let's go. Let's, let's go have fun. Mm-hmm. And so we had our, our plans, you know, for, for our time there. And the first night there, I ended up having another demonic encounter. And, um, this time, I remember it being very paralyzing and um, and, and, uh, eventually I fell asleep. But when I woke up, I looked at my phone and my mom said, she had texted me and she said, um, I just want you to know that the Lord woke me up from a sound sleep to pray for you. There's deliverance in Jesus' name. Mm-hmm. And the fact that sh that I had not told her what had happened, you know, just hours before really got my attention. So I called her and she basically, you know, proceeded to tell me that she had had a nightmare, that I was murdered, and that the Lord woke her up and showed her that the devil wanted me dead and to pray for me. And he gave her John 10, 10 and Psalm 69 to pray over my life and. She was like, I don't know what you're into. She knew I wasn't into anything good, but she was like, this is no game. Mm-hmm. This is no game. And, um, you're gonna have to, to make your stand. Yeah. And so we got off the phone and I remember walking into the lobby of the hotel room and at this point in my life, like. Everything about my worldview was anti-Christ. Everything about it. I hated marriage. I hated, uh, Christians. Um, I was, you know, would call them ignorant and bigots and, um, I, I, I fault I accused Christians for every problem in the United States. And so everything about, um, my worldview like that. You live for yourself. You live for pleasure. Yeah. All of it was anti-Christ and I was not looking or interested in. Knowing Jesus. But in this moment, I walked into the hotel lobby and the Lord himself lifted the, the veil from my eyes, or he took the scales off of my eyes and he, I was so aware that he was giving me an immediate revelation that he is Lord, that there are no other gods apart from him. That every word in the Bible is true. Because before that, I had said, yeah, there might be like good messages that you can find in the Bible, but there's parts that are evil and that are, you know, that we shouldn't, um, uh, even read. But in this moment, the Lord was showing me like, you do not change the word of God. Mm-hmm. You, you, you're gonna submit to the word of God changing you. Yeah. And he was showing me you can't add, you can't take away. Yeah. It's, it's, it's not like any other book. It's his word. Yeah. And he's holy. And he, he showed me everything that you're into right now is done. It is done. Like, you're not even gonna have the wiggle room to mess around with some of, with, with anything that, that you're into in your life. It's all done. Friends gonna be cut. Like, he just showed me that and he gave me a grace. I know. He gave me a grace because it was like, it was like, go, it was going from death to life in a moment. And I, you know, there wasn't this like long elaborate prayer. Um, And, and, and, and, and, and I do remember at some point saying, I'm sorry Lord, but it wasn't like, Lord, I repent for this. But, but he himself yeah. Broke through my heart and showed me my need for him. Mm-hmm. My sinfulness, his holiness in this mystery of how he was calling me into himself. And he just, he broke through the fact that I had disdain him and hated him and wanted nothing to do with him and his pursuit of me. He used that to, to, to get my attention. And so, I was born again August 16th, 2016. Um, and, and I came back to Chicago knowing that everything was gonna change. That yeah. That I was gonna have to have conversations with everyone in my life. And I knew that I, I already knew that basically no one would stick around. I knew that already. Yeah. I knew that. They would think I was crazy. I knew they would think I'm like a traitor. Um, okay. I knew all of that. He, you know, he showed me that to, to expect that. Um, but at the end of the day, he, he also showed me, who is it that saved you? Well, could they wash away your sins? Did they shed blood for you? Yeah. And the answer was so clear that, um, you know, we're, at one point their opinions mattered so much to me. It's like he just blew through that and showed me what's really valuable. And, um, and, and so yeah, that the year 2016 or that summer of 2016, um, was when he saved me. And then when I got back to Chicago, I was still a teacher at this social justice alternative high school. It was a high school where we taught our students how to do witchcraft. We taught them how to read the Aztec calendar and how to burn sage and do all this, this, this crazy stuff. And, um, and now I'm saved. And yeah, I have these kids in front of me who, you know, I'm, I'm, I was an English teacher. Um, but I knew that now my calling was to minister to them. And, um, One month after I was saved, uh, our first student of, of that school year was murdered. And, um, and within the span of like three months, I would have four total of my kids murdered. And, um, 12 or 13 were shot that year. And it was just constant gang warfare, constant. And, um, during this time, you know, we, our school only had 80 students, so, um, uh, you know, the loss of one is already a big blow. Yeah. Because all their friends go to the school and all their friends want to retaliate. And all the friends are, you know, coming to school high or drunk because they're grieving. And, um, During this time, the Lord would wake me up in the middle of the night. I would wake up sleep talking and I would hear little phrases that sounded peculiar, and I would Google them on my phone and they would be bible verses that I had never read before. Cuz I was just getting to really know the Bible and they were scriptures that the Lord was using. To prophetically show me what he's doing in that community. And, um, you know, I would, I would wake up praying for them by name. Like unconsciously it was, I know it's the Holy Spirit who was praying through me. Um, but the Lord started to, to show me who he is in his word and what he was doing, uh, to, to bring life to these dead places, to these places of sorrow and grief. And so, um, You know, the Lord, the Lord began to shape me. Well, first off, the Lord was showing me the power of his word. That his word is alive. That his word is perfect. That um, his word is a sword. That his word, word pierces and hammers and to not neglect his word. So that was the first thing he was teaching me. But then the other thing he was teaching me was how to intercede, how to pray for these kids and minister to them. What can actually transform them? Because before I was saved, you know, our big thing with social justice was to, to give opportunities and resources to these at-risk youth, you know? Mm-hmm. That's the type of language we would use and we could get them a job, but they were still active. Gang members still shooting each other. Oh, there was the resources were good. Mm-hmm. But, They could not transform a heart. They could not give this young man a heart flesh for a heart of stone. Yeah. They could not forgive him of his sins. Mm-hmm. So now that I'm saved, you know, the Lord is showing me what really matters when it comes to interacting. Yeah. With these kids, how to intercede for their salvation, how to speak to them. And so, um, the Lord, he just started orchestrating all these miraculous encounters, specifically with these young men and women at the school. And, um, You know, so, so one of those situations or miracles is, is when, um, the Lord had showed me, he put on my heart to pray that their guns would jam and that gun used, guns used against them would jam and that the bullets would ricochet and that they would know the truth of Jesus and that he would set them free. And I remember, you know, walking from where I lived to the school, which was like a 10 minute walk, and I would walk down Oakley and I would pass all the different blocks of, of, of the gang and, um, And so a lot of times they would see me, they would be out, you know, driving around, cruising. And, and so the Lord gave me the opportunity several times to where they would pull up and where I would pray in the name of Jesus, your gun will jam and every gun used against you will jam. And the bullets they're gonna ricochet, they're gonna bounce off. And you will know the truth of Jesus and he will set you free. Yeah. And they would just look at me like I'm crazy. And, um, but then they, what was crazier was that they would come back a couple days later. And it would always be like a group of them who would now come to me privately and they would pull me aside. Yeah. And they would say, Sara, when you prayed that, we went to go over here and we did this and our guns jammed. And then we went over here and we shot at this guy. And it's like the bullets were bouncing off. And he looked at us like, like he didn't understand what was going on. And we got scared and we jumped in the car and drove away. And they started asking, what was that? Mm-hmm. And so then the Lord, you know, is giving me the opportunity to share the gospel. That this is the living God, that he's the one who intercepted those bullets for your sake and for the sake of that person. And he came to take you out of darkness and, and the Lord just set things up to proclaim the gospel. Even when our students were dying, the school really didn't know how to meet the needs of our grieving. Kids. Yeah. And so, you know, my classroom was literally across the, the hall from the principal's office. Mm-hmm. And my door was always open, and I would have students in the middle of class just break down asking questions like, what's the point of getting out of the neighborhood if we could be somewhere else and just get shot anyways. Mm-hmm. And all of a sudden, I have an actual answer that God's word says that every day of your life is written in, in, in his book. And that when you're in him, he will never leave you or forsake you. All of a sudden, I have an answer. And it's, it's, it's, it's the word of God. And I'm saying these things during English class and Uhhuh, and then I'm, you know, I had students who. One of'em had been shot with our other student and, and one of'em had died, but the other had survived. And, and he had gone into the hospital and I asked if I could see him and pray for him, and his mom said yes. Mm-hmm. And, um, he was unconscious. Um, but I knew, you know, his best friend had just died and that he. That he didn't know that yet, but I already knew like how the devil would like to use that. Yeah. And so, um, as we're in the hospital room, I just laid hands on him and I, I had no grid for how to pray these types of prayers. It was truly the Holy Spirit, cuz I remember saying, holy Spirit, I don't even know what to pray. Teach me to show me what to pray right now. And the words came out of my mouth in Jesus' name. I bind the spirit of revenge. And, and I have never used that type of language before. Yeah, my mom didn't even use that type of language. I had not heard that. But as soon as that prayer came out of my mouth, uh, the, the student, his hands lifted in the air, uh, and, and tears just started coming down his face. And, um, later in the school year, he returned to school after recovering, and he told the story of how God had encountered him. And he would just, in the middle of the class, when all the other young guys were in the class, he would say, Sada, tell them what happened in the hospital. And so, um, there was just this beautiful, beautiful time of, of seeing the Lord work in such, um, devastating circumstances. And, um, to bring it all full circle during this time, a lot of these kids were getting locked up. A lot of them were getting arrested, which was good because many of them would be dead if they, if they hadn't gotten arrested. Yeah. So they're getting put in, in Cook County, cook County's right down the street from the school. So I would go to work and teach and then I would walk to the jail to go visit my kids. And the Lord was showing me pray for them as if they're your children, intercede for them. And he would give me specific prayers Yeah. For each one of them. And, um, long story short, um, I ended up moving out to the suburbs. Um, And, and, and in a way I was like, well, I guess that kind of chapter, uh, has, is coming to an end in a way. I knew that there was more to come, but you know, I'm now, I'm in DuPage County and I, I'm not right by Cook County Jail. I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm not in Pilsen. But, um, the funny thing is, is, is I would be, you know, out at the grocery store in the suburbs and I just would have this sense from the Lord, like, your son is locked up. Go look him up. And so I would go home and I would look at Cook Counties Inmate locator, Uhhuh, and he wouldn't be there. So then I'm like, no way. He's in DuPage County jail and I look him up and he's in DuPage County Jail. Mm-hmm. And, um, this is Carlos and, um, And so, uh, I end up going to visit him. And I remember saying, Lord, what do I say to him? I've seen him in prison. I've taken his mother to go see him in prison twice. This has been his life for the last, you know, 12 years. What do I say? I don't have anything of myself that matters. But what, what do you want me to say? And the Lord showed me, memorize Isaiah 53. And when you get there, when you see him and sit across from him, you just start saying the word. And so, you know, I'm driving home from church and I'm memorizing Isaiah 53. And, and, and I had told the Lord, Lord, I want an army of men and women who are not afraid to put their life on the line for you. Because I would look around in the church and I love the church of God, I love God's people. But I would become, uh, Grieved by passive, passive men, specifically passive men. Like Lord, I know that men are called for specific purpose. And, and, and I started saying, Lord, I want an army really of men who are not afraid, who are moving forward, taking ground. They're walking in their callings. And, and I told the Lord that cuz I said, Lord, what you're, what you're calling me to, I know will require that type of person. Mm-hmm. And so I kept just saying, Lord, I want an army. And I sense the Lord come back at me and say, name, name, sum, name, give me names. Mm-hmm. Of, of who you want. And so then I gave him Carlos, I gave him Francisco, the one who had been in the hospital. I started, you know, give Hector name by name. And, uh, I get to the, to toe county jail where Carlos is. Yeah. And I, I sense the Lord saying, what does Carlos's name mean? Look it up. Because I had been doing a lot of studies in the Old Testament on names. Yeah. You know, and so, um, I look up his name and his name means army. And free man. Mm-hmm. And, and then I start looking up the other names and they're all like military slash there there's some connection to the prayer that I had prayed earlier that day. Yeah. And so I went into the jail, you know, just amazed at the Lord. Like, all right, Lord Carlos is part of this army. I don't know how you're gonna do it, but you're gonna do it. So when I get in there, I, I don't even say hello and he didn't know I was coming. I don't even say hello. I just start saying the scripture from Isaiah 53 who has believed our message to who has the arm of the Lord been revealed? And I just start going in and he just begins to weep. He begins to cry. Then there's some demonic stuff that, that begins surfacing and, and, and I'm praying for him, you know, telling him call on the name of Jesus you need to call on his name. Yeah. Um, but, but there was, um, Just a, a manifestation of God's power in that time. Mm-hmm. And, uh, I continued visiting him and while I was visiting him on another occasion, I end up hearing this loud Cuban man, uh, responding every time I read a scripture to Carlos. And, and actually, uh, I was reading Isaiah 53 to him again. Yeah. And I, I keep hearing like this man, uh, responding and, and, and commenting every time I read a verse, Uhhuh, but I can't see him cuz of how the visiting area is set up. Well, finally, he, this man comes up, he gives me his card and it says, Manny Mill Cornea House Ministries. And, um, you know, he says, thank you, thank you for sharing the gospel with this young man. And turns out that, um, Manny and his wife Barbara, have been serving in prisons for 30 plus years. And, um, Manny knew my father. He ends up asking, who is your dad? And, and he said, oh, I met him. I've met him. And so the Lord brought us together. Um, and so, um, the beautiful kind of, uh, ending to this story is that, you know, going back to all the way when I was a little girl, actually before I was even born, and my birth being prophesied in Cook County Jail, then my father bringing me into Cook County Jail. Then, um, you know, in the last two years I got footage of my father, uh, speaking when I was one year old, and he says, you see my daughter, she's not gonna grow up with a gun in her purse like my sisters did. She's gonna carry a Bible, and one day she's gonna be in the jails in prisons with us, and she's gonna give her own testimony to Jesus. So I got access to that footage, uh, in the last year. And around that same time, I found a drawing that I did when I was six. This would've been after my dad went to be with the Lord. It would've been that first school year after, you know, he went to be with the Lord and the, the picture says, draw what you wanna be when you grow up. It was like an assignment, Uhhuh. And I drew Cook County Jail and I, and, and I drew myself in front of Cook County Jail, and I drew a big cross on top of the jail. And I wrote, uh, be at Cook County Jail with a big heart. And so I, I found and got access to all of those things in the last two years. And the man, the, the faithfulness of God over time, you know, the Lord had showed, I didn't share this, but the, the Lord had showed my father. My father was reading, uh, the Bible and you know, where, um, David, David wants to build the house of God, but the Lord says it won't be, you can't do it. You have blood on your hands. It's gonna be your son. My mom says she remembers my dad closing the Bible and saying, the Lord gave me that word for Sarah. And so, you know, my mom, she's, she had kept these promises hidden in her heart. She was praying about these promises, but meanwhile, she's seeing me get worse and she's feeling mocked by Satan when I wasn't walking with the Lord. Yeah. But she got to see the fulfillment of those promises when I was born again. And then the Lord blessed me to show me that you know, you, that, that he had been orchestrating. These details of what he was gonna do, how he was gonna save me, but then going even back to those women in the jail praying over my mother. Yeah. For a baby. Mm-hmm. And, um, and so Jan in January of this year of 2023, I officially became full-time in Cook County Jail through Cornea House Ministries. It's praise God, it's, it's such a, it's so surreal Yeah. To be in the jail that where the Lord had planted my father, where my father had brought me as a little girl, and now seeing, uh, just the, the miraculous things that the Lord is doing in the jail and knowing that the Lord has a commitment to this jail. Yeah. My, my dad would always say, I have the biggest church in the city, cook County Jail. Mm. And, and, and, and you know, when you go in there, The darkness is so tangible and so like, confrontational that the light of Christ shines so bright. Mm. Shines so bright. Yeah. And, and you know, we're living in a crazy time and a crazy world where everyone's mad at Christians, you know, you see it in the media and, and my response is, you wanna see, you wanna see God, you wanna see who we talk about? Go to Cook County Jail because he's there. Mm-hmm. You will see the Lord work in the jails, in the prisons. Yeah. And, um, and my, my dad would say that the church of the 21st century is gonna come out of the jails and the prisons. And I'm seeing it, I'm seeing it as his daughter. So, um, I'm just so in awe of the Lord's faithfulness over decades of time. His faithfulness to parents. Um, Isaiah 54. It was one of my dad's favorite chapters, um, and specifically where it says, um, your, all your children will be taught by the Lord and great will be their peace. And he would pray that over me. My parents would pray that yes over me. And later it says, this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord. So God's faithfulness to, to parents who raised their children in the ways of the Lord. And I'll just end that, you know, one of the ways the Lord continued to encourage my mom, and this is especially for any parents, is that, um, you know, at the very, like right before I got saved was when I was so hostile towards the things of God and my mom. Was going into Cook County Jail, and she told the women, you know, I've been praying for my daughter for 12 years now she's not born again. Mm. She, she, she professed, you know, faith in Christ as a child. But there's this mystery, like she knew I wasn't alive in Christ. She knew she knew it. And, and she told the ladies, I've been praying for her for 12 years, but I'm putting my Isaac on the altar and I'm going forward with the Lord, but I'm continuing to contend in prayer and I won't settle for anything less than her being in love with Jesus. And it was like a week later that the Lord saved me. And one of the passages the Lord had put on her heart was Luke 18. The parable of the persistent widow and how, um, Jesus taught this parable to the disciples to show them to pray and never give up. Yeah. There was a woman who was going to an unjust judge, and she was, you know, she was, uh, uh, asking him, give me justice against my adversary. And because she kept nagging at him. Yeah. He finally relented and mm-hmm. And, and then Jesus says, if this unjust judge would do that, then how much more Yes. Him being perfect Yes. Would hear those who cr his elect, who cry out to him day and night. Yes. Yes, yes. And so that, that I pray, encourages any parents or anyone who sees someone in their life who, who appears to be so hostile towards the things of God. Um, I'm so thankful that like, I sometimes we think that people need to be brought to rock bottom in order to cry out to God, but mm-hmm. The Lord just bursts through. Like, I didn't want anything to do with him. I wasn't looking for him. He, he just said, today's the day. Yeah. I'm coming for you. Yeah. Yeah. And he can do that. That's, that's what he does. And, and that I praise and encouragement, like to not look at, to not base, um, things off of what you see in a person, but to continue to engage in the spirit in prayer.

Ann: 59:10

Thank you for sharing that. Just your whole story, your whole story. Like when we talked on the phone, you had me at one year. Just your father went to Cook County and this love Yeah. That he had for the prisoners there. Yes. And his heart for seeing you. Yeah. Be a part of that. Yeah. And witness that. Yes. And have that same love. He was not afraid for his little girl. Nope. He w He did not have to be protective and overly concerned. And That's right. Say no. Keep Sarah at home away from the prisoners. That's right. He said, I'm bringing Sarah into Yes. Cook County jail. Yes. Because this is where Sarah's gonna see Jesus move in a mighty way. Amen. I love your father's heart. Yes. I wish I would've had a chance to meet him because Well, meeting you is like meeting him. Amen. Amen. Yes. I don't know your dad. Yeah, but I can see. Yeah. That he planted seeds in your little tiny heart. Yes. Many, many years ago. Yes. And I believe that even when you were speaking the word and you were like, where's this word coming from? It was from the seeds that dad had planted many, many years ago, though you were a child. Amen. Your heart, like David said, your word. Have I hidden? Yes. My heart. That I would not sin against you. Yeah. And that was it. Hi. His word came alive. Yes. Because it was already hidden in your heart at such a young Yes. Young age. Yes. But glory to God. Glory to God that you get to share. Yeah. Not just your story, but I believe your father's story too. Yes. Yes. Because even years, years down the line, I've never met him. Yeah. And a lot of people who are listening don't know him. Yeah. But he has made an impact. Yeah. In Cook County jail. Yeah. He has made an impact on many people. Yeah. Um, you Yeah. Being one of them. Your mother. Yes. Um, and just people that say, Hey, I know your dad. Yep. I remember you a lot. Your dad, you know, and, and all to say that your dad was a faithful servant of God. Amen. And even though he, he became ill and sick. Mm-hmm. God was still faithful Yes. To his promise. Big time. In in, in you. Yes. And what he's doing in your life. Yes. Yes. And and you had to go through your demonic encounter. Yeah. And you had to go through all that. Yeah. But God brought you out. That's right. And, and how, how much more now? Yeah. Do you love the Lord? Yes. How much more? Because you've been in the darkness. Yes. You've been there. Yes. And he's brought you to his light. Yes. And now he says, go and share the light and the love of Christ. That's right. Right. Where your dad brought, took you. Yes. When you were just little. Yes. Now you go, when you share'em there. Yes. You go when you show them my love. Yes. What a beautiful testimony. This just so precious. Precious. And that the promises of God. The promises of God, he is faithful Yes. To keep his promise. Yes. Yes. His word does not return void. Yes. But it sets out to do what he calls it to do. That's right. And I'm thankful for that. And I'm thankful that you shared that. Amen. And that you're giving hope to many of us. Amen. Many of us that God is faithful and he's good. Right. Amen. And thank you for sharing about the parents. You know that Yeah. That message for the parents. Yeah. Those parents that are. You know, praying. Yeah. And trusting God for their children, their adult children. Yeah. That may have, you know, straight away. Yeah. From the heart of God, but there's hope in Christ. There is hope. And I love that you said that they don't. Have to hit rock bottom. Nope. And that God will, God will meet them wherever he's gonna meet them. Yeah. At and that may not look like rock bottom. Right? Yeah. It may look like them being at, the top of their mountain that they think they're at. Yep. Right. Yep. But he'll, he'll meet them. Yeah. He'll meet them there and Yes. I love that. Thank you. Breaks through. Yes.

Sarah: 1:03:27

He breaks through. And, and I didn't mention this, but a, another kind of layer of restoration that I'm so grateful for that's connected to all of this is, is, um, my mother and I now minister together in Cook County Jail. Yeah. And that in itself is, is a, um, testimony of the Lord's faithfulness because number one, um, there was so much woundedness between us that. Neither of us could have imagined being min, like ministering together in the jail. My God. God. And so the Lord restored our relationship. The my mother is such a blessing to me. She is a woman who has persevered and has cl, she just like clings to Jesus. Yeah. And, and, and even to be able to see the restoration the Lord has brought in her life. Mm-hmm. Um, where, where at one point, you know, she was so, so brought low and how the Lord lifted her and brought healing to her. And now we, every Friday we get to go in together. And I know that she's in awe of that as well. All those years that she would go in the jail, you know, telling the women that she's praying for her daughter and now we're there together. So sweet. Yeah.

Ann: 1:05:00

That's sweet. That's sweet. Yeah, that is. Yeah. God is sweet too. Yes, he is. He's tender. Yes. He heard your mom's Christ. Yes. And he brought you together. Yes. And now you're ministering Yeah. To people together.

Sarah: 1:05:17

Yeah. What? Thank you

Ann: 1:05:19

Father. Like what a joy. Yes. What a joy. Yes. God is so good. Yes. God is so good. Yes. I wanna wanted you to speak on, you said something, you said that when all that had happened with your father, you felt at some point that the enemy tried to twist mm-hmm. The character of God. Mm-hmm. In your mind. Mm-hmm. And you began to see God as being cruel. Yeah. Can you speak into that? Because I believe there's a lot of people Yes. Who have lost so many loved ones who have been through tragedies, who are, who are hurting, they're hurting right now, and that's how they view God. Can you speak

Sarah: 1:06:07

into that? Yeah. Yeah. That set of lies about God was so real to me at that age, the lie that God has abandoned us, the lie that God is there for other people, but has left us the lie that God is cruel. Um, like he just lets us wallow in our mm-hmm. Distress. The lie that God, neglected us. The lie that God, could have, how do I put this? Like the lie that God is evil because he could have helped us, but he didn't. Mm-hmm. There were so many lies that Satan, flung my way and that I, you know, I took the bait. And so those developed into a stronghold. Those developed into a beehive of lies. Mm-hmm. And the long, you know, I believed those lies. Mm. For, uh, you know, 20 years. Um, and even when I got saved, I know I was saved, but I was still in agreement with those lies in subtle ways where I still felt like, yeah, you know, God will do that for other people, but he won't do that for, for me. Or he, he doesn't love me. Mm-hmm. The way that he loves or shows favor to others. Yeah. And when tragedy or crisis or loss strikes like that, what I've learned now is that when things happen suddenly to be very aware of Satan's tactic, because in those moments you can believe that Satan's desire is to continue to twist your view of God. And so when I got saved, Um, shortly after I got saved, I ended up going to, uh, an inner healing ministry, like intensive, uh, at International House of Prayer, and it's called Prisoners of Hope. And, um, the specific focus was to ask the Lord to show you what strongholds you have in your life and basically to repent and renounce what's attached to those. Yeah. And so one of the stronghold, there were a lot of strongholds that I had. Yeah. Um, but, but one of'em, Specifically dealt with asking the Lord to show me the lies that I had, that I still was in a, in agreement with about his character. About him. Yeah. And so, you know, they had us just straight up ask him in a place of prayer, yeah, Lord, show me any lies that I am in agreement with about you. So then he, he showed me this list that I just named off of all these lies. And then I, they have you repent because it is sin to be in agreement with those lies about his character. Cuz the Bible says that there's no evil in him. No, none. And so I said, you know, I repent and I renounced the lie that you have neglected us. Hmm. and I would say, Lord, I feel this way, but I choose not to trust what I feel because what I feel is deceptive because I, I believe your word is true. Yes. And so then they would have you pray and say, Lord, If this is the lie and I'm repenting and I'm renouncing this lie, coming out of agreement with it, they have you then pray. Lord, show me the truth. Yeah. And so then he would give me scriptures. He would just speak. And so then I'm like, okay, you know, I agree and I come into agreement. I choose to put my trust in what your word says, which is that in Psalm 10, you say you do see trouble, you do see grief. You consider it to take it to hand. The help us commit themselves to you are a defender of the fatherless. Yes. So, to speak to anyone who is in that place of feeling tormented. Yeah. By, um, the lie that God has abandoned you, that he's not trustworthy, that he doesn't care, that he's distant, that he's cold, that he's cruel, understand. That even if you're a believer, Satan's job is still to steal, kill, and destroy. And if he can't kill you, he's absolutely going to look for cracks in, in our faith where he can get a foothold and come in with deceptions about the character of God. And once those are established as a stronghold, then it's really a big problem. And that's where we have to humble ourselves and go to the Lord and say, Lord, either you're wrong or I'm wrong. Mm-hmm. And you're never wrong. Mm-hmm. So you need to bring me into your truth. I need you to bring me into your truth. I need you to show me the lies that I'm believing Yes. About you in this situation, in this traumatic incident. And as he shows you, we have to repent. Yes. As painful as it is. Yes. Now, at the same time, I think it's in Psalm 62, it says, pour out your hearts. Yes. At all times. OU people. So the Lord is also calling us to this intimate place where we can pour out our anguish. Yes. He does care. He does about our anguish. And I would even say, go to him and ask him to show you his thoughts and his like who he is. Yes. Towards you in that place of anguish. Yes. Because just as much as Satan. Wants to deceive and take from you even more than that, the Lord wants to reveal his true character to you. He wants to show you who he is. going back to Ephesians chapter six, we don't fight against flesh and blood. We have to put on the full armor and that it, for me, I have to daily, almost daily repent and renounce different lies Yes. That are coming into my mind in the form of fiery darts. Yes. Yes. They are going to come. Yes. Don't think that cuz you're a Christian. Like, just cuz you're a Christian, that if a tragedy strikes that you know it's gonna be easy. There is a place where the, the believer has to have a resolve that I. I'm going to step forward towards the Lord. I'm going to position myself before him, just like it says in Second Chronicles 20 Ssat set his face. Yes. Towards the Lord. He was in trouble. The circumstances of his life were terrible in that moment. Yes, that was real. Yes. But he set his face towards the Lord. And a lot of times we don't do that because when, even as a Christian, when tragedy strikes, we turn our faces from the Lord. Yes. And we entertain the rabbit trail of tormenting thoughts and fears. Yes. Yes.

Ann: 1:13:36

Oh my goodness. Thank you for sharing that. Um, that's the Holy Spirit. Amen. That's the Amen. Holy Spirit, Sarah. Amen. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for unpacking that the way that you did. I believe a lot of us Christians are in a place of torment. Yeah. By the lies Yes. Of the evil one. Yes. And we, we have yet to understand, and I say yet, cuz God always reveals Yes. You know, he reveals his truth. He enlightens us to his truth. Yes. But I will say this, a lot of us are in a place where we don't go to the Lord as you, as you mentioned. Right. We don't seek the Lord, we turn our face away from the Lord and we entertain those lies. Yeah. And then we fall. Yeah. We fall into this pit of it. Even self-pity. Mm-hmm. We fall victimization. Victimization. Yes. When it's just like you said, turn your face to God. Yeah. Turn your face to God. We have to stop entertaining the lies of the evil one because he wants to destroy us. Yeah. And the first place he goes, he goes to our mind. Yeah. He goes to our mind. He goes to the heart. He, he goes to the mind because he knows that if he can get to our mind and into our thoughts and playing with our mind, and you know, he is the God of this world. Yeah. And so if he can deceive us by believing his lies, by, by entertaining those lies, he has that stronghold on us. Yes. But glory be to God that with him through his word, we can demolish. That's it. Those strong goals we can take captive. That's what I, those thoughts? Yes. And, and, and we can bring them to Christ. And glory be to God that even now as people are listening to this podcast Yes. That even right now, this very moment, whatever lie that you have entertained, you can take it captive and make it obedient to Christ and be set free from that tormenting lie. Yes. Because he who the sunset's free is free indeed. That's right. You are free. You are free in Christ, we are free in Christ, all through the blood of our Lord and Savior. And so I, I wanna encourage you, those of you who are listening to this podcast, even right now, Before we end this podcast, um, Sarah, I see you opening your Bible, so yes, please feel free to share whatever it is that you're, yes, you're wanting to share. Right

Sarah: 1:16:49

now I'm just searching it up cuz I'm blanking on the reference, but you just referenced it. I know it isn't Second Corinthians. Yeah. Uh, chapter 10. Uh, starting at verse three, it says, mm-hmm. For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but have divine power to demolish or destroy strongholds. Yeah. We destroy. Arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God. Yes. And take every thought captive to yes, obey Christ. Mm. Being ready to punish every disobedience when your obedience is complete. What really sticks out to me about that Yeah. Is that number one, we have been given weapons that have a function to destroy strongholds. Those weapons have divine power. Yes. To destroy strongholds. And in verse five, the Apostle Paul says, we destroy arguments sometimes we're out here waiting for God to just, you know, take away certain thoughts. And, and yes, he is Lord, but we have a responsibility here. Yes. When those thoughts come into our mind, my prayers, Lord, make me aware. Yes. Make me alert to those thoughts that come in and he says, we. Destroy and we take captive. Yes. Every thought. How do you take a thought captive? This was always my question. Yeah. When I went to this inner healing intensive, and they, they said, it's simple. You go to the Lord in prayer, you ask him to reveal to you the lies that you're in agreement with, and you take them captive by repenting and renouncing them. Mm. Because that is, that is you saying, I disassociate f from this. Yes. I call it for what it is, which is a lie. So you're, you're not allowing it to flourish. Mm. When, when a lie starts to take hold and, and develop, it begins to multiply. Yeah. It expands. And so this is why we have to take it captive so that it is nipped, so that it's yes, you know, it's cut at the root and we take it captive by, by repenting and renouncing and calling it what it is. It's a lie. Mm. But then we come into agreement with truth. We, yes, we, okay. If this is the lie that I've been believing about this situation, I need to be in agreement with the truth. What does God's words say? Yes. And we choose to come into agreement with that truth. And so that is how those arguments and beliefs and thoughts that exalt themself up above Christ, that's how those are taken down. Mm.

Ann: 1:19:43

It only makes sense. That the father of lies. Would want to use lies Yes. To try to persuade us. Yes. To try to detour us to, to try to destroy us. Yes. It only makes sense that he would do that. Yes. And we need to be aware of that. Yes. We need to be fully aware of that. Yes. And mindful of his tactics. It's nothing new. Right. It's nothing new under the sun. Because he's been doing this since Adam and Eve. Yep. He's been with the lies. Yeah. That counterfeit manipulating the truth because remember, he knows the word of God. Right. But there's no truth in him. Right. He's the father of lies and that's who he is. Yes. And so we, we as believers need to be, in the word of God, to know

Sarah: 1:20:34

the That's it truth. That's

Ann: 1:20:35

it of God. That's it. So that we're not persuaded by the enemy, so that we're not detoured by the enemy. And is counterfeit lies. Yes.

Sarah: 1:20:45

Right? Yes. That's it. And that's, that's how I wanted to sum it up is this is why we have to be in the word of God. Yes. It is a non-negotiable. No, it is. It is so important because, you know, it can become easy to kind of live off of old man, old bread. Yes. Old, like old moments, past moments with the Lord, past revelations. But we have to be continuously renewing our mind through the word of God, because his word is what cuts through his word is what clarifies, what transforms. And. You know, we can become comfortable. We can com become complacent, you know? Oh yeah, the Lord has spoken to me, or I'm just gonna sing my Raise a hallelujah song. And that's it. But we need the word of God. His word is what endures his word is what cuts through. And so, um, you know, I have to challenge myself in that. Like, even like when I'm getting ready or when I'm driving, like I'm looking for how can I be playing the word? Obviously I'm setting aside time to physically have my Bible in front of me and read it. But, I'm conscious because of how dirty the enemy plays and how crazy this world is. Yes. We have no business not being in the word, and his, his word will just slice through, through the lies. Like literally this morning I was feeling overwhelmed. And I was just, you know, I told, I knew like, Lord, I need you to speak to me and I'm gonna make it really simple. I'm gonna read, you know, Psalm 10, Proverbs 10, and then I'm gonna go back to Second Chronicles, uh, 20. I believe, Lord, you're gonna speak to me. You're gonna correct me. Yeah. You're gonna clarify things. You're gonna show me where I'm believing lies. And He did, he spoke so clearly through his word. And, um, and we need that. We need it. Hmm.

Ann: 1:22:51

Thank you. Thank you, I believe that we are in a season right now as believers, as, as the body of Christ. We're in a season right now where we need to be fully aware. Yeah. That first of all, first and foremost, that God loves us. Yeah. That he's with us. That he's our defender. Yes. Yes. That he's our defender. That yes. That he goes before us. Yes. But also we must be aware that we have an enemy. Yes. We must be aware that the enemy, he does not like the church, the body of Christ, the bride of Christ. Yeah. And, and he's out there trying to kill steel and destroy the body of Christ. And now that we know, and we've always known how he goes about doing it, we need to be intentional. Yeah. We need to be intentional about abiding. Truly abiding in Christ. Yes. Truly pressing into the Lord. Yes. You know, and putting on our armor, as you mentioned Yeah. Standing firm in the truth. Yeah. Putting on truth. Yeah. Right. Um, and believing that the word of God is going to do and accomplish what it says it's going to do. Yeah. I think that that's where we can rest our hearts, even though we go through so much on this earth and what we see is so troubling. Yeah. It, it's, and it grieves the spirit. It grieves our, our spirit, but we need to remain firm on God's truth. Amen. And his promises and his character of who he says he is. And the the beautiful thing about our Lord is his grace. Amen. Because even in the midst of our doubt, even in the midst of our doubt, I'm gonna say this. That he shows us who he is.

Sarah: 1:24:56

Yes.

1:24:56

Yes,

Ann: 1:24:57

he does. He shows us who he is. Yes. So even if you're in a place right now of doubt Yeah. Just like you or sad. Yeah. Yeah. In a place of doubt. Yeah. God is gracious and he will reveal himself to you right there. Yes. He will reveal Himself as He has to me too. Yes. As he's revealed himself as Abba Father. Yes. He's revealed himself as my comforter. Yeah. My savior, my Lord, my redeemer. And my prayer is that right now, if you are in that place, that the Lord would just reveal to you who he is. Yes. Sarah, do you have anything else you wanna share before we we end this episode?

Sarah: 1:25:51

No, we, I think we've covered it. I'm, I thought it was so cool how you referenced second Corinthians 10, five. That's what I was looking for. And so thank you Lord. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you Lord. Thank you. Thank you Father. And, um, yeah, that, that is so precious how he, um you were just saying like even in the midst of your doubt, um, he will reveal himself too. You and I was thinking about it reminded me of this time where, um, this was like two years ago, I had just come out of a really difficult season where those lies about the character of God had like resurfaced and, I went away to, Wisconsin and I woke up. My first morning that I was there, I woke up referencing, like I woke up sleep talking this, this scripture reference in the gospels where, Jesus is, being, has all these accusations brought against him. And Ponchos Pilate basically says like, what accusation do you have against him? And I, I woke up speaking that scripture and the Lord showed me when I woke up that I had made accusations against him. Mm-hmm. That I had blamed him and, and pointed my finger at him and basically that I needed to repent. Yeah. And, and renounce that. So I did. I repented and I renounced that. And then I sense the Lord say, what is the name of the place that you're staying in? What does the name mean? So I was staying in Efram. Uh, Wisconsin. So I look up Efram, which is one of joseph's son's names. It was one of the sons who was born, uh, when Joseph was, uh, in captivity. And his name from the Bible means I will make you fruitful in your land of affliction. Hmm. So when the Lord told me, like, look up the name of where you're staying, and I saw that. Yeah. I was like, that is crazy because you, you, he just had re like, rebuked and corrected me. Yeah. For the accusation I made against him, but in the same breath. Showed me who he is. I will make you fruitful in the land of your affliction. So I pray that that encourages people. Hmm.

Ann: 1:28:15

It's encouraging me. Sarah, thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you all for listening to Sarah Share her testimony. Stay tuned for the next episode of Her Scars. Tell a story.