"Helping the Misunderstood" - with Tanya Delfin

I had the pleasure of interviewing Tanya Delfin  for this podcast episode.
She talks about growing up feeling so misunderstood amongst her peers because she was different. Tanya would later go to college and still have to war off some of these conflicting thoughts of herself. Years later she become a speech pathologist for CPS and helps non-verbal children communicate. Like Tanya at a younger age, a lot of her students just want to be understood. She is the creator and inventor of the amazing silicone placemat with AAC pictures geared towards helping non verbal children.
Her hope is to help as many non-verbal children and their families to communicate more effectively.
You can find this placemat on Amazon.

I pray that Tanya's inspiring story will bless you.

Transcript

Ann: 0:10

Hey there, friends. My name is Anne Calvio and welcome to her Scars Tell a Story, podcast, A safe space for women from all different walks of life and different backgrounds coming together to share their stories of God's redeeming love. So grab your cup of coffee and journey with us now. Hey there, friends. Welcome to her Scars. Tell the story. I'm your host, Anne Calvio, and today I'm with my wonderful guest, Tanya. Tanya, welcome.

Tanya: 0:55

Hi. Thank you for having me. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm doing

1:00

good

Ann: 1:00

today. Um, how's everything going? It's

Tanya: 1:03

going. First time doing this sort of thing, so, you know, I'm just giving it to God and yeah.

Ann: 1:11

Yeah. Thank you so much for being here., can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Tanya: 1:17

I'm 35. I am a believer. I'm married. I've been married for 10 years now. My, our anniversary actually just passed. Oh, congratulations. I'm a mom. Mm-hmm. So I have two, children. My, I have a three year old, well, almost three year old. He's gonna be three next month, and I have a five year old going on six. Nice. So they're, you know, amazing. They're crazy chaotic, but, you know, I love it. Yeah. I've been through that

Ann: 1:48

stage too. It's fun. It's a fun stage. Yeah. Yeah. And so, and so what do you do like with your family? What kind of things do you

Tanya: 1:56

guys do? We love to travel. Mm-hmm. Um, we try to take at least, you know, two vacation, even two to three vacations, even if it's small ones, even if it's a weekend trip, you know? Yeah. We like to just do nature, you know, take the kids to the park, go for walks. Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot of family, things. Usually based on our kids and what they might like to do lot. I hear you lot of the time. I

Ann: 2:21

hear you. We became, nature fans when I found out how much my kids could just run freely without me having to like Yeah. Be chasing them down, you know, Uhhuh. And to this day, they're teenagers and they love the outdoors. You know, I find myself loving it. Before I wasn't such a fan, but now I'm like, let's

Tanya: 2:39

go hiking. Let's go. You know? Yes. Mm-hmm. Let's go do this outdoors. So,

Ann: 2:44

yes. Yes. It's, that's great that you're getting them used to that. So tell us a little bit about your life and what it's was like growing up.

Tanya: 2:52

So I have a big family. Mm-hmm. And I feel like growing up that was, it was so much fun. Um, I have, mm-hmm. My grandma had 14 kids on my mom's side. Wow. My dad, his mom, my um, she had seven. So I just grew up around, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins. We were always together, had family parties and mm-hmm. It was just, a fun, yeah. Childhood. I am the youngest of four, so I have my siblings who are like, they're a little closer in age. Mm-hmm. And then there's a five year gap. And then I was like, surprise, here I am. It

Ann: 3:31

always happens

Tanya: 3:31

A surprise baby. Yeah. So, so then I came along, um, I grew up in a Christian household from a young age. Mm-hmm. I actually had, I feel like, a little bit of a different childhood than my siblings because we had that gap. And so, um, by the time I was born or when I was young, my parents became believers at that time. And so it's just crazy because my memories of my parents, of the relationship of the household, are sometimes different from what my siblings remembered. Mm-hmm. Growing up. So, I mean, my mom, she was a young mom. She got pregnant at 17, they got married. Teen mom. Yes. Mm-hmm. So they got married. My dad, he was in a band with his brothers, and so he had that kind of band lifestyle where he was Yeah. Out at the bars playing till who knows what time, you know? And so Uhhuh, they had a strained relationship at that young age. Um, yeah. When I was born, I think a little shortly after I was born, my mom actually started going to church with my dad's mom. Oh, okay. So she, they started going together. Mm-hmm. And so my mom became a believer. Mm-hmm. Before that they had considered themselves Catholic, but she didn't really go to church. Mm-hmm. Um, so she, she started coming and she became a believer and she. Never stopped. Um, and she prayed for my dad. Her and my grandma prayed for my dad for years. For years. Yeah. And it took him a while to come around. Mm-hmm. he had kind of just been turned off from church at an early age, and so he had just kind of stayed away for Yeah. For a while, you know, for a long time. And it actually, there was basically a, a miracle in our family that happened with his sister and her baby. And he was born with a heart condition and he was born just the circumstances. They, it was just, it was God. Right. yeah. He's born at the right hospital. Mm-hmm. Um, the only hospital that had what he needed to survive all the tools that they, the machines that they needed, the right doctor who happened to be rotating to different hospitals happened to be there that night. Right. Um, yeah. The blood types, they found them right away. It was just, it was a miracle. And my dad, he was like, when, when all that happened, he said, he. He surrendered. He was like, man, God, you are real. And he's like, I want you in my life. Yeah. And he, it was a prayer by himself, you know, with God. Mm-hmm. And, um, he, it's so crazy because he said he had, there had been a few times my mom had bibles, you know, around the house. Yeah. And he said, um, he was like, I tried to pick'em up in the past and I read them and they just didn't, didn't make sense. It didn't make sense to me. He's like, after I prayed, after I had that time and I prayed and I just gave my life to God, he's like, I picked up a Bible. And he's like, it made so much sense. Wow. He was like, the amount, like, you know, like he, he was just like, it was completely different. He's like, it was like, God opened my eyes. Mm. And uh, a couple weeks later he started coming to church and he never stopped. And when I tell you like my dad is like a different man. He quit the band and he actually joined the church worship team. Wow. Yes. Um, he, he stopped drinking Uhhuh, like completely, like when they talk about my dad at a young age, and, I'm like, man, I don't know that man. I don't know that man. Yeah. You know, the oldest gone, that news is come cuz like, he just radical

Ann: 6:59

transformation is what I call those Yes. Radical transformation from night

Tanya: 7:04

today. Yes. Yeah. Wow. Yes. And so I, I wanted to share that as part of my testimony because, um, it means so much to me and it is a hard It should, it should and my testimony. So, yeah. Um, yeah. He just, just to see that and, and my, uh, how God worked in my parents' relationship Mm. And how he, I mean, basically saved their marriage, you know? Yeah. Um, it's, it's just amazing. God is good.

Ann: 7:32

I need to ask you. Mm-hmm. You said your mom and. His mom or Right. Or was it her mom? No, his mom. Mm-hmm. His mom were praying for him. Yeah. And they were praying often for him. Yes. What happened when they saw him come to the Lord? Like,

Tanya: 7:48

oh my gosh. I can just imagine. Like, I, you know, I was young, but I can just imagine. Yeah. You know, like

Ann: 7:55

sewing in prayer all those years

Tanya: 7:57

answered prayer, you know, that answered prayer. Like, God, you heard me. You know?

Ann: 8:01

I love that. Yeah.

Tanya: 8:03

Yeah. So, it actually, it so dece into other family members, my, uncles and aunts and cousin, and it's just, amazing how God works, through prayer and just our testimony, you know? so I grew up in church. I remember getting saved at a young age. I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I remember the day. Mm-hmm. We were, going to New Life Oak Lawn back then it was Pastor Al Garcia and I remember the altar call. I remember going down and like giving my life to God and, it's crazy cuz that memory just sticks out. Yeah. In my mind. I got baptized when I was 13 and actually it's, my dad mentored me. Aww. He was just, on fire for God. Yeah. And he wanted to be the one to mentor me and so he led me through the book and, his brother who actually started coming, around the same time, it was me and my cousin, my dad and her dad. Oh. They mentored us. We did like, a little grouping met and we would go over the book yeah. So I got baptized at 13. I grew up, going to IANA's sole purpose, acquire the fire, you know, groups and all that sort of thing, Uhhuh. And so I feel very blessed to be, like grounded in my faith. Yeah. Right. Like, and the Bible even says there's that verse and I wrote it down, Proverbs 26 start children off on the way they should go. And even when they're old, they will not turn from it. Yeah. And that is so true, and I'm so glad that I was grounded in that faith because I'll keep going with my childhood, but I'm, I'm so glad that I had that grounding of faith. I grew up in Brighton Park, uh, until I was about nine. So we had a lot of family that lived nearby. We had. You know, I had my friends, I was in school, I loved school, I had good grades. I don't remember how old are you in fourth grade? I don't remember. Eight, nine. Um, but when I was in fourth grade, we moved to Oak Forest, so we moved to the suburbs. Mainly because my brothers or my brother was kind of getting into, gangs and mm-hmm. Yeah. You know, substances and different things. So yeah. My parents were like, okay, we're gonna move, we're gonna mm-hmm. Buy a house. And so we, we did, we moved, we moved to Oak Forest. Mm-hmm. And at that time, we were like the only Mexicans Yeah. In the neighborhood. Uhhuh. Right. And you could just feel the different, you know, like you just felt. Yeah. Um, our neighbor moved, we moved in and one of our neighbors moved out. Certainly our neighbor. Yes. They moved, she moved Uhhuh. Um, and I, you know, I went to school and the kids were just curious. They were like, what are you, like, you're different. You know, like they just knew something was different about me. I didn't look the same as them. I guess Uhhuh. And so they would ask me not in, you know, mostly not in a malicious way. It was just more so like, curious, like, what are you, and, and there was one more boy who had actually started that same year. He was in the other class. And they were like, you guys are like the same. Like, yeah, we are. I mean, we're guys, were Mexican, but like, you know, we're the same. So yeah. I felt very different, you know? Yeah. Like I stood out. Like I said, most kids were just curious. But I did have, these two girls who one time were chanting like, oh, Mexicans are black and white. And I was like, and I was so shy. Yeah. And so I like walked past and I didn't say anything, but obviously it bothered me. Yeah. So I just felt, misunderstood. Yeah. I obviously had different clothes than they wore, you know? Mm-hmm. I didn't have like these nice, great clothes. And so I even had some, someone comment on my clothes at one time, or, um, again,, when I was in my old school, I was top of the class. I knew what I was doing. I come to this new school and I was lost. Mm-hmm. I was like, I don't know what they're learning. I have no idea what this stuff is. Yeah. So it was just a complete change. It was a, a big change. Yeah. For me. The, the whole experience of moving just completely being taken out of your environment and into a new one. I had those feelings of like being less than, or like, I don't belong here. Right. I'm not good enough. Right.

Ann: 12:19

Know?

Tanya: 12:19

It's just crazy that the enemy can plant lies at such a young age and he can use that. Mm. And it, because it's such a young age, it's, it kind of like, Is ingrained in you, almost like where it sticks to you, and it's just a way of thinking about yourself. Mm-hmm. Yes. And you don't even realize it. Like, I recently like realized that this was a thing like that this was, something that I didn't realize that was happening inside,, all these years later. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Because I carried that even into college. I remember I went to grad school to become a speech therapist. Yeah. And I remember going, and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm not like these girls, you know? Yeah. I don't talk like them. I don't have the same vocabulary. I'm different, you know? Yeah. And so, again, those lies start creeping up like, oh, you're not good enough. Can you really do this? Yeah. You know? Can you really do this? Can you really, graduate? Can you really. Understand, you know, like, you know, that sort of thing. Right. Thank God that mm-hmm. I was grounded in faith. Yes. And I mean, how do we fight that? We fight that with God's truth about who we are.

Ann: 13:26

When did that start happening that you started fighting with God's truth when you started fighting those tho those lies with God's truth?

Tanya: 13:35

I think it was something I've done along the years because I've always known God's truth. Mm. But I didn't realize why I needed to do that. Like, I didn't realize that it was these lies, you know? I didn't put two and two together, I knew that I felt a certain way. I knew that I felt fearful sometimes. Mm-hmm. Like, I can't do that, or I'm not good enough. But I didn't put two and two together. Like, Hey, this is like. This goes back to your past, I'm so grateful that I, I grew up knowing God and knowing his truth. Yeah. But even recently I decided,, I'm gonna make a wall of God's truth about who I am, there's that verse second Timothy one, seven, for God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity mm-hmm. But of power, love, and self-discipline. That's one of my favorite verses. Yes. You know, that is one of my favorite verses. And, I just, I know that, God is good and he has plans and I'm, I don't want the enemy to stop, to prohibit in that in any way. Mm-hmm. And so, yeah. Yeah. I think a

Ann: 14:39

lot of times what lies can do, especially lies from the enemy, they can hold us as prisoners. Mm-hmm. Prisoners in our mind, prisoners even in doing the things that God's called us to do for fear of am I doing it the right way? Am I gonna fail at this? is this really you God? Or is this, you know, why would you even choose me? Where we start doubting Yes, yes. Right. We're not equipped enough, we're not, knowledgeable enough, we don't know or sound or look mm-hmm. A certain way. Right. Yes., and it can keep us, it can paralyze us mm-hmm. And keep us from doing the very thing that God has equipped us Yes. To do. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I understand.

Tanya: 15:24

I'm just so grateful that in my weakness, I know that he is strong. Yes. And so sometimes I just need to, even now, I just, I give it to him and I'm just like, God, you know? I can't, but you can. Growing up, I went to high school mm-hmm. And I just had that desire to fit in cuz you know, I had felt like I didn't fit in for so long. Right. Yeah. So I had a desire to fit in. I started making friends, I feel like I was almost consumed with what other people thought or with what fitting in. Hmm. I remember, and I'm, oh, even to this day, it gets me so upset, but mm-hmm. I remember I had a good friend from church Charity. Mm-hmm. And she actually moved to Oak Forest and she was like, Tanya, like, we should start a Bible study in our school. And I was like, That sounds like a great idea. Mm-hmm. And then the fear said it, and I'm like, well, what are, oh, what are people gonna think? I'm gonna stand out? It was just the fear. I kind of just never got back to her on it. Mm. And I always regret that, cause I'm like, who could we have reached through that I will study? Could we have made an impact in someone's life, you know? Yeah. And I'm like, why, why did I care so much about what other people thought? You know? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, yeah. I was very concerned about what people thought about, having friends about fitting in, you know? I think, when you believe at such a young age, I think sometimes, Well, for me, not everybody, but for me, I think I maybe took it for granted. Right. I was curious like, what else is out there? What am I missing? Am I missing things, you know? And so I started going out, going to parties, going to clubs. I was drinking, I was lying to my mom, of course, because mm-hmm. She would never let me Yeah. You know, do any of these things, uhhuh. And so I was like, let me just, kind of sneak and do these things. I did that for a while. I ended up getting in just like this toxic, toxic relationship with this guy. And I was in it for about two and a half years, and on and off, you know, I would break it off and then I would go back and then I'd break it off and go back. Like, I knew in my mind, hey, this is not for me. Like Right. You know, God has more for me. Right. And God was telling me that. Right? Yeah. But, It was just that, I don't know, this toxic cycle. He was just not for me. He was, um, drug dealer. Yeah. Um, he told me he didn't do drugs, but then I found out he did. Mm-hmm. Um, he lied. He was very disrespectful. Called me names, like, just bad. And I'm like, what? I have no idea. No idea. Looking back, I have no idea why I stayed. Yeah. For so long. But I eventually, I was like, okay, I'm done. Yeah. You know, God has bigger plans and I broke it off and I remember my mom was like, oh good, I'm glad you broke it off. You know your dad never liked him anyway. And I was like, what? Why didn't he tell me that? Uhhuh? Like, what do you mean he didn't like, like Uhhuh? Why didn't he tell me that? She's like, I don't know. I think he just didn't wanna hurt your feelings, you know, Uhhuh. And I was like, oh my gosh, he probably could have saved me at least a year. Um, so that's, I mean, man, like parents speaking to your kids. Life, you know? Yeah. And not in a negative way, you know, in a positive way. You, you know, you can do better. I see. More for you and Yeah. And that sort of thing, because man, like, if he would've said that, I think I feel like I could've saved some time. Um, yeah. But I know that now, even with my own kids, I'm like, I always want to speak truth, even if I think they don't want to hear it, you know? I moved on, I was working, I was in college. I, actually met my husband, but we were friends for like two years before dating, we were just friends. We worked together mm-hmm. At a Mexican restaurant. Nice. And so I was just like, man, I really like this guy. He's a good guy, I'm gonna give it a shot and I'm gonna invite him to church. He wasn't a believer. Yeah. And, but again, I was one foot in, one foot out at that point, you know? Yeah. And I was like, I'm gonna invite him to church. So I did. I invited him to church. He actually worked a lot of Sundays, but he ended up, uh, Sundays he was off, he would come and, uh, he ended up getting saved. Thank God. He ended up getting saved. I was like, wow, like this is someone I could see a future with, we started getting serious and talking about marriage and I was like, okay, God. I need to be all in. I can't be one foot in, um, going to church on Sundays and then doing what I wanna do the rest of the week. And

Ann: 19:44

so did, did you begin to feel conviction or what did you feel? Yeah.

Tanya: 19:48

Yes. Big conviction. And, you know what's crazy? Like this whole time, all these years that I was doing this. I always felt like God giving me signs. Like, hello, this is not for you. Hello. You need to change. And I even remember a day and it sticks out to me. So clearly I was on my way home and I was feeling guilty and I was just crying. I was in the car driving by myself and I was crying. I think it was actually raining outside to make it more dramatic. Um, and I was just crying out to God. I was like, man, Lord, like, I don't know why I keep like failing you, you know? Mm-hmm. And this song came on. I couldn't even tell you the song. I couldn't even, I don't remember the song. Um, but it was a song about God's grace, about forgiveness, about how no matter what you do, like God forgives. And I like oof. I was crying in the car my way home. I was like, man, God, thank you for that. Like, thank you that you. I'm not, you know, I'm not perfect, but yeah. Thank you. That you show me your grace, you know? Mm-hmm.

Ann: 20:54

Yeah. He was pursuing you. Yeah. He was pursuing you even in those times where Yeah. You were off, doing you right. Yeah. and he was pursuing you that whole time. Yeah.

Tanya: 21:06

And looking back, I'm like, I don't know what I was looking for, but I had everything I needed in God. Yeah. and it took me the long way to get there, it took me, doing all that, but I'm here now. Yes.

Ann: 21:17

And his grace. Yeah. Just at that moment you feeling conviction. Yeah. This song comes on. And he's ministering to you. Yes. He's telling you how much he loves you and that he forgives you, that he loves you unconditionally like. Yes. That's the heart of our God. That's, that's the heart of the father, the prodigal's daughter. You know? Yeah. And he's gentle with us. He knows when we stray in our hearts Yeah. From him. Mm-hmm. But he's gentle and he pursues us and he draws us back into his love. Yes.

Tanya: 21:49

So again, we started getting serious and we were like, okay, God. Like there was things that we needed to repent for. You know, we wanted to live impurity and we needed to repent for things. And yeah, We actually got mentored. Once we got engaged, yeah. We started getting mentored by Juan and Rosa Sanchez. Really? Yes. Oh, I didn't, my pastors. Yes. They're amazing. I didn't know you had a connection with someone. That's awesome. Yes. The best, best mentors. Um I'm so grateful for them. I feel like I learned. I agree so much. Mm-hmm. Um, back then they were actually running a home group, a fusion home group. Yes. I've heard Yes. Uhhuh. Mm-hmm. You were part of going to Yes, we started going to home group. And man, we just learned so much during that time, you know, and I feel so blessed because that was the foundation of our marriage? Wow. Forgiveness, finances, just, oh, just so many. Just so many things. Yeah. Um, and just seeing other couples, other godly couples that were. Walking with God it was just, it was amazing.

Ann: 22:50

Okay. So you were engaged to be married and you decided to go to this fusion, small group, right? Yes.

Tanya: 22:57

It was, yeah. Small group. Okay. Because we were engaged mm-hmm. To be married. They were like, okay, you can come. Yeah. Yeah. We were, you know, so Right. So that you can learn what marriage is all about. Exactly.

Ann: 23:09

Uhhuh. Yes. Yes. And that really benefited you, huh?

Tanya: 23:12

Definitely. Yes. I just feel like, I was like, man, like if we want God to be in our relationship, if we want God to bless us, if we want our marriage to prosper, like we need. We need him. Yes. And we need to obey him and we need to be walking in obedience. Yes. Right? Yes., true. Yeah. And I, I do feel like God has blessed us because of that. The doors that he's opened. Yeah. The people that he's put in our lives in just the right time for just what we needed. Like he's, oh man, he's always been there. And so, I was in college. Well actually I had just graduated a year when I got engaged. And then, I started working for CPS Uhhuh as a speech therapist. Yeah. Yeah. And so I've been there for 11 years now. Wow. I've worked at a clinic for a, a short while, maybe a year. Mm-hmm. And then, I worked, for cps first of all, don't gimme, like, it's a stressful job. Mm-hmm. Yeah. There's a lot of paperwork involved. I have a lot of students,? But I know that God has placed me here for a reason, you know, and I'm helping kids with their communication. But also, there's kids that are going through a lot. Yeah. you know, their home life can be so rocky. Yeah. Kids have been through so much, and sometimes they just need encouragement. Yeah. They need some positivity. They need someone to speak into their lives. And so I feel very blessed to be in. A position Yeah. Where I can develop these, relationships with them and help them, but also encourage them. Yes. That's, that's huge. That is so huge in the life of a child, especially a child, with a disability or, who, in your case, they may be deaf and mm-hmm. Not be able to, communicate well. Yes. And so you're there kind of like a bridge. Mm-hmm. To help them communicate, to help them so that their voice could be heard because mm-hmm. Even that young, their voice matters and Yes. And they're very misunderstood mm-hmm. As you were as a child. Yes. They are misunderstood. Yes. And it's amazing how God does that, right? Mm-hmm. He does like a full circle. That is so true. I didn't think about it like that. Yeah. But yes.

Ann: 25:23

You were misunderstood as a child, and that's how a lot of these children feel. And now he's using you to be able to be that bridge, and now you're able to communicate and speak life into these kids that are misunderstood. Yes. Wow.

Tanya: 25:38

That's the Lord. Oh, amen. Thank you. That's the Lord., but yes, I'm very grateful for this time, I work with a lot of students who, as of recently, I've gotten a lot more preschool students. When I first started the building was like that. I'm in, it's a little building. It's a big school, but there's different buildings, right? Yeah. My building was K through, or I'm sorry, one pre one. Preschool classroom, and then it was like kindergarten, first, second, third. Right now that whole building, almost the whole building is pre-K. Yes. So I have a lot of pre-K students. Yeah. And some of them, they're all different. I work with a variety of kids. And some of'em are nonverbal. And so one thing that, we use a lot and we'll talk about a little later, but Yeah. Picture communication. To help them to be able to connect, to help them, be able to advocate for themselves. Um, what a great tool.

Ann: 26:34

Yes. What a great tool that is. Yeah.

Tanya: 26:37

I am a busy mom. I'm working, I'm. Taking care of my kids, you know? Yeah. I'm so blessed that I have my mom and my mother-in-law who helped with taking care of them. Oh, that's

Ann: 26:49

wonderful. Yes, yes. Yeah.

Tanya: 26:51

But it can be chaotic, it can be crazy. It's, you know, yeah. Sometimes I feel like I'm living two lives. I think my work life, my home life. Yeah. I was serving the kids ministry for a long time Oh, okay. For years, like, since I was young., and I stepped down when I had my son. Mm-hmm. And it's actually, I think it's time to step back up. Yeah. He's gonna be three Uhhuh. I call him my little chila because he's just stuck to me when we go to church. He does not stay with the kids. He stays with us. He will not, he's glued to my side, like, you know, Uhhuh. And so my goal is actually to Let the boy go. Yeah. Yeah. Let him go get him into the kids' ministry so I could actually be more involved. There you go again. Go.

Ann: 27:31

Yeah. Yes. Or maybe if he sees you in there. Oh, no.

Tanya: 27:34

He would stick to me. Oh. I was like, I thought about it. I was like, maybe I could be his teacher. No. Yeah. He would just, you know, he would probably stick to me the whole time. Uhhuh. So when you, reached out and you were like, Tanya, I was like, do you wanna do this podcast Uhhuh? I was like,

Ann: 27:49

me, like, what?

Tanya: 27:51

You know, you want me to come Uhhuh do a podcast? Like, who am I? You know, again, the lies, the fears, and, um, I talked to my mom. Yeah. Cause you know, she's my go-to. Yeah. And I was like, mom, like, she wants, you know, there's this girl from church. Yeah. She reached out, she wanted me to do this podcast, and I don't know, mom. Like, I don't, I don't know. I've, I've started to listen to some of the people and mm-hmm. And they're just, These, these amazing leaders. And you know, I'm like, what? Like what am I gonna talk about mom? Like, Uhhuh, and, you know, I'm, I'm a mom. Like right now, I feel like that's my main ministry is being a mom. Yeah. And pouring into my kids. I love my mom because she's so encouraging and she was like, you know what? She's like, God can use you if you let him,? Mm-hmm. He'll use you. And she's like, you know what? Don't compare yourself. God has. Is time with you, this is your season Yes. Of being a mom and it's an important season. Mm-hmm. And don't think that you're, you know, oh, I'm less than, or I can't do it, you know? Yeah. She's like, no. She's like, and she actually quoted one verse that has been really resonating with me, which was again, the second Timothy, God is not giving us the spirit of fear. Yes, Tim. And she was like, Tanya, no. She's like, you need to do this. You need to do this. And I was like, mom, I don't know. I can, I'm not good with my words. You know, what if I can't express myself? Right. She's like, do it. She's like, pray about it. Yeah. And God will give you the words. She was like, you know, but you need to do it. Yes. I was like, oh mom, you're right. I should, I should, you know, like, yeah. She's like, maybe somebody is out there like you and they need to hear your testimony. And I was like, absolutely. Okay. And so, absolutely. Yeah. I was praying about it. Mm-hmm. And I felt God like, tell me like, you know what, just give your testimony. Some people might. Be struggling with the same things. Some, some people might, need to hear it. And I was like, okay. Okay, God, I'm gonna do this. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna give it to you, and I'm gonna text her. And I'm like, messaging you. And I'm like,

Ann: 29:54

don't I know that feeling? I know that feeling. Yeah.

Tanya: 30:01

So, but I'm here. Mm-hmm.

Ann: 30:03

Thank you for sharing that, Tanya and I need to tell you why. I know that before you and I even recorded this, I said, this platform mm-hmm. Is for women, ordinary women like you and I mm-hmm. To share our story because our voice matters. Mm-hmm. And your story is gonna speak to someone who feels just like you. Mm-hmm. Who's been misunderstood. Yeah. Who has received and believed the lies from the enemy since they were little. Yes, that lie that you don't matter, that that lie, that you need to be like so and so or you need to compare yourself to this person and that person and yeah, no, you are uniquely made by God in his image and he's created you and purposed you long ago to do his will and, and to do his works that only you can do, that only Tanya can do. And there's a lot of US women over the years, I've struggled with that for so many years. Mm-hmm. Until now I'm in my forties and it was like the Lord just took the blindfolds off and said, Anne, You need to trust me. Yes. Keep your eyes on me. Mm-hmm. Because I'm going to use you for my glory. Yes. And I, I began to understand that there's no need for me to compare myself. Mm-hmm. Why? Because I'm uniquely made by my God and I'm going to be different because he didn't make us cookie cutter images, you know? Yeah. He made us uniquely, according to his plan, according to his will. Yeah. To do what he's called us to do. And I think it's so brave of you. Mm-hmm. I think it's so brave of you, of being here and saying, okay, mom, I'm gonna listen to you, mom, but, and I, and I thank God for your mom. Thank God that you have a mom that speaks truth into you. Yes. Thank God that you have a mom that didn't let you settle in. That kind of, You know, pity party, like, no, no, no, I'm not gonna do this. You know? Yeah. It's not, I, I'm not equipped for it, but she said, no, you are, and you're gonna pray about it and just do it. You better. Yeah. Thank God for your mom, you

Tanya: 32:30

know? Yes. I'm so grateful for her, and she is so wise. Yes. And those times where I need her to speak into me like that. She, she does. Mm. And I don't know

Ann: 32:39

what I would do without her. Mm. That's precious. Yeah. And you are gonna be speaking that into your children. Yeah. Yes. You'll be speaking that into

Tanya: 32:48

them. Yeah. I make it a point and I, and I pray about it and I'm like, God, me, I, I don't want to, get in a rut of pointing out their wrongs or you need to do this, or like, I want to be that mom that's like, like my mom speaking encouragement. I want to speak into their lives and who they are in God. Yeah. And, Just pour into them, and honestly, like the one thing that I want most for my babies, the one thing how to eat more than success. Mm-hmm. Or education, I mean, that's stuff, okay, that's nice, but not, it doesn't, in the long run, that's not what matters. It's knowing God. Yeah. And so that's what I want for my babies. Yeah. I want them to know God. I want them to have a personal relationship with him. Yeah. I want them to serve him. Follow him. Yes. Even now,, I pray against the lies of the enemy with them. Yeah. Because it held me for so long and I'm like, that's not gonna happen with my babies. No.? And so I pray over them at night,?. I hear my daughter sometimes. I'm saying I'm scared. Or I can't do that. And I'm like, no, you can,? Mm-hmm. And I pray against that. I pray against it at night, and I'm like, God, break these chains in Jesus' name. Take away these lies,? Yeah. Lies of the enemy. I pray that they do not found me, they do not found my children, my husband,, in any way. Yeah.

Ann: 34:05

I just love how we are able through the Lord's grace and his Holy Spirit. Um, discern the things that our children go through. Mm-hmm. And so that they won't repeat the cycle that we went through, how God is able to break those chains and those cycles and those lies

Tanya: 34:26

that we believed as kids.

Ann: 34:27

Mm-hmm. And we can speak the truth of God's word into our children. And not only that, but I've had to sit my daughter down and share with her the things that I struggled with as a kid. Mm-hmm. And I tell her, now she's a teenager, and I say, you know what I tell her, I said, I never had someone speak life into me and speak truth into me. So the truth that I speak into you, I'm speaking it from a place of love, and I'm speaking it from a place of I know what it's like to grow up thinking that you don't matter. Mm-hmm. That you're, Rejected, abandoned, and all these things that I grew up thinking. And I tell her, I say, Miha, you by the grace of God, don't have to live with those lies. Yes. And if anyone ever speaks those lies, until you remember what I'm telling you, God loves you. You are fearfully, wonderfully made. I give her the word, yes, this is who you are, Miha, no matter what anybody says, yes, this is who you are. And I've been telling her that since she was little. Oh, I love that. Since she was little. Yes. Mm-hmm. Because I didn't want her to grow up thinking and feeling the way I did, having to measure up to others because, I always felt inferior. I always felt luta, and I always felt belittled,? Yes. In my own home by my, sometimes my own parents. Mm-hmm. And so I tell her, who you are is who God has called you to be. And never forget that. Never forget who you are in Christ. And I believe that because of that, because of, you know, speaking that into her life since she was little, I see the fruit. I see the fruit in her. Does she struggle with teenager shoes? Yes, she does. Of course she does. But like you said, she can take the truth. Mm-hmm. And replace those lies. When those lies come, either from her own thoughts mm-hmm Right? Or from, outside voices mm-hmm. She can take those thoughts and say, no, that's not who I am. Exactly. That is not who I am. Yes. I know who I am. Mm-hmm. And makes all the difference. Yes, it really does. Yeah. That is

Tanya: 36:50

so true. And I feel like. Us as moms, we have such an important Yes. Role in we do building them up and showing them their identity and who they are. And so yeah, definitely don't take that for granted because No. You know Yeah. To see kids that

Ann: 37:07

don't get that Yes. You know, you see them Yes. You see them at work said, don't

Tanya: 37:12

have that person to encourage them. Yeah. Or maybe they're being put down and the fact that we're able to pour into our kids' lives. Yeah. And to, for them to know God at a young age. Oh man. Like mm-hmm. It's powerful.

Ann: 37:26

It really is. It's powerful. We're making a way, we're blazing that trail for the next generation. Mm-hmm. For theirs generation. Yeah. And the next generations to come for our grand babies Yeah. And their babies, Yeah. And, and it's a beautiful thing. Yeah. Not only that, but we get to influence the sphere of kids that we're around. Mm-hmm., like you said, at

Tanya: 37:49

school,

Ann: 37:50

those children. Yeah. I teach, children's ministry once a month, and I think of my little sphere there, you know? Yes. And how I speak, Lord, help me to speak life, especially in those areas where they're hurting. Yes. Especially in those areas where they're wounded. Lord, help me to speak life into them. We have such a responsibility Yes. as believers to speak life into our little ones. Yes. Whether they're our own or whether they're a church or at school. Yes. But we do, we, God has given us that responsibility. Yes. You know, he, he made such a point to say, let the little ones come to me. Yes. Let'em come. And I believe that as believers in our Lord, as women of God, we carry that responsibility to speak life into these little children wherever we go and build them up and speak truth into them. Yes.

Tanya: 38:46

Yeah. I agree. I agree.

Ann: 38:49

You are also working on a project and you did mention a little bit about it. Yes. Can you share, can you explain a little bit more?

Tanya: 38:57

Yes. So I am super excited about this project that I've been working on. This is a nighttime project. This has been like the, when my babies go to sleep, I do my research and I, you know, I Awesome. Work on this. It's awesome. And it, it's taken almost a year or at least. Maybe seven months. Mm., to get everything together., but I created an AAC placement. What AAC is, is augmentative and alternative communication. So in simple terms, just a way of communicating outside of speaking. Okay. Right. Yeah. And so, like I said, I, I work in the schools and I more recently I've had much more, preschoolers and kids that are nonverbal. And so AAC for kids who are nonverbal, who are not talking yet mm-hmm. Can be so helpful. Mm-hmm. Because you know that those kids, they get frustrated. Yes. They can get frustrated because they know what they wanna say, but they can't say it. They can't just advocate for themselves and, and let you know what they want. Mm-hmm. Or what's wrong. Right. And so I use AAC a lot in the classrooms. Yeah. We have our communication boards, our textbooks, just different ways of communicating with pictures. Yeah. And I can see the benefits of it. Hmm. I've seen, kids just be able to see a picture representation Yeah. Of a word. And you're modeling it for them at the same time they're hearing it and they're seeing it. Yes. Right. Yes. And so that helps a lot of kids to be able to understand the concept of these words. I feel strongly about AC and it being so beneficial for kids and helping so many kids. Yeah. So I created a placement because what motivates kids more than food kids, you know, some of these kids might not want to communicate. Yeah. Just offhand, you're not just gonna talk to them and they're gonna just wanna talk back to you. Right? No, it's similar thing, but when you get something that's motivating for them mm-hmm. Whether it is food mm-hmm. Or a favorite toy, you got their attention. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You have their full attention. They're looking at you, you, get more eye contact, I have one little girl that I'm thinking of right now because I could play with any toy with her, and she's just not interested. Right. Yeah. One of my students, she's just like, you know, Uhhuh, she's it away. She was, she's actually kind of a diva. She'll sometimes push it off the table, but when I have her favorite snack mm-hmm. When I like, oof, I had these Cheerios and I kind of did a little shake and she was like, woo. Like what? I, I got her attention. Right. She was like, whoa, I'm ready. You like, I'm ready to communicate. What do I need to do? Right. Yeah. So food can be very motivating to kids to get their attention and to kind of teach them. And also, I know moms parents are busy. Mm-hmm. And we don't always have the time to like, sit down and maybe do that one-on-one work, but we all have to eat. Yes. We all have to eat Uhhuh. So it's a win-win because you have to eat anyway and, it's motivating for them. So why not have that opportunity to, work on their communication and help them. To communicate. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. So I'm super excited about it. It's a place mat and it has pictures. It has 12 pictures on it. And it has things like more, please. Thank you. want like, and don't like, help. Which is such an important one. All kids need to be able to ask for help. Right. That's such an important thing. They actually call core words. Okay. In the speech world. Yeah. I remember that. Core words are the top words that we use Yeah. In our everyday language while we're speaking. And so those are core words. that's amazing. I hope to just spread the word because I know even in working in the schools, the number one question that parents ask me is, what can I do at home? Hmm. What can I do at home to help my child? Yes. Yes. That's like true the number one question I hear. Yeah. And so I actually recently I was showing parents,, the last parent-teacher conference I was showing them. Not my place mat, I was showing them a communication board that I use in the classroom with, with a lot of my students. And it's been very helpful for them. Yeah. And a lot of the parents were like, can I get a copy of that? Yeah. Can I get a copy of that? And I'm like, yeah. Yes, sure. And so I, made copies, laminated them and everything. Yeah. And, um, sent them home and I'm like, man, like, so it's, it's just parents want to help, right? Yes. But sometimes they don't know exactly how. Yes. And so, this is a way, this is a way to help,, give them a voice. Most definitely. Create a connection with them. Model, model for them. Yeah.

Ann: 43:39

Can I just share, I wanna add to what you're saying. Actually Tanya, you and I, we've briefly met, we've briefly known each other, but when I saw someone share. Your place map. It caught my attention. I was just sharing with you before we started recording that my son, was diagnosed with autism at the age of five, and he was non-verbal up until the age of six. So his teachers, his, early childhood learning teachers would give me these little cutout cards. Yes. And a lot of what you're saying is making sense to me. This was my son's 24, so this was many, many years ago. Yes. But I remember, because like you said, he would get frustrated, he felt misunderstood. He would suddenly cry because he felt unheard. Mm-hmm. You know, I, I didn't know I wanted to communicate with my son. I didn't know how to Yeah. So then I felt like a failure. Mm-hmm. I felt like, uh, I'm failing at this. I don't know how to communicate and get through to my son and I really want to because I see his frustration. And so it even develops this, emotional type of, I guess deficit in you. You're not able to meet your child's needs and every mom wants to meet her child's needs. That's so true. And when I saw this place, man, and what you're doing with this, I said, I have to have Tanya talk about this. Like, I don't know her story. I don't know, but I know that whatever's letter to this point to create this placement has to do with helping children. And I wanted, I really, really wanted to share that part of your story, and I thank you for sharing that because if I would've had this place mat years ago, 20 years ago, my life probably would've been a lot easier as far as like being able to reach my child. I wouldn't have had to struggle so much and he probably wouldn't have had to go through all that unnecessary frustration. Also, when he was five as well, that he was deaf in his, um, in his right ear. Yeah. I did not know that he was,, born with a deformity in his ear. Mm-hmm. And so, which it caused his complete hearing loss in his right ear. So he compensates and uses the left ear most. But even then I thought back then it had to do with his autism, but it, it didn't. Mm-hmm. You know, and

Tanya: 46:24

I could see how that could be overlooked. Yeah. Because sometimes a child with autism might not necessarily respond right away. Yes. When you're calling their name, when you're talking to them. If they're not interested, some children might not respond. Yes. And so I could see how that could get overlooked thinking, oh, he, maybe he's just not interested. Or maybe Yeah. He's just busy playing with his toys or whatever it may be. Yeah.

Ann: 46:47

But that was exactly my case. That's what I was thinking at that time. But going back to your placement, I saw it and I said, wow, like this needs to be in schools. I remember my son's speech pathologist. She was an amazing woman. I remember her having so many caseloads. She was the only speech pathologist in the school, and she would tell me, you know, and she really tried to help me so much, but I, I can't imagine how many other moms mm-hmm. She tried to help too. Yes. And it was just her. And so I could just picture this in her hands and the possibilities with it, you know? So you have it with you. Can you, can you kind of just bring it out? I'm, I think I'm more excited that you have it here.

Tanya: 47:38

And I almost, I was, I came here straight from the chiropractor and I was like, I didn't bring the placement. Well, I wanna show Anne home. And I was like, I'm gonna just run in and get it. And I like went, ran in and grabbed it. But yes. So here is the place map. I did a lot of research. I'm like, what I wanted in this placement, right? Yeah. I ordered placements that were being sold on Amazon. Cuz I was like, Uhhuh, I need to know what's out there. Right. And I'm gonna actually take a

Ann: 48:05

picture of it because I wanna post it like, yeah. Let's see.

Tanya: 48:09

Yeah. You

Ann: 48:09

guys have to see this. This is amazing and this can help so many kids. Thank you. And can you just share who would benefit from this? So

Tanya: 48:20

two types of kids. Well, let me take that back. Sorry. So non-verbal, non-verbal children. Mm-hmm. And I actually, I recently made a TikTok on this. Right. Uhhuh. And a lot of the people, a lot of the comments I was getting were like, well, why not have them talk? Mm-hmm. Or will this, will this hold my child back from talking Uhhuh? You know? Yeah. And it was out of curiosity, I don't see it as a bad thing. They were just asking why not have them talk? Right. And not all kids, it's not that easy for all kids. Right.

Ann: 48:53

It's not. I'm wondering if they have a child who's non-verbal. I'm wondering if they do, because when a child has autism, Or a D H D or some other type of learning disability. It's not that they don't want to be verbal. Mm-hmm. They have development delays

Tanya: 49:12

sometimes. They're not physically able to Yes. They can't move their tongue. Yes. Their articulators to make those words. Yes. Right.

Ann: 49:20

My son was finally able at the age of six, but it's not that I didn't try again. I didn't have this, so I tried, I tried every which way to the point that I felt like such a failure because I failed at all my attempts of trying, and I felt, okay, something's wrong with me. Why is he not able to communicate with me? And I'm mom. Yes. And

Tanya: 49:45

That's like a god-given desire to have connection. Right.

Ann: 49:48

Yes. And communication,

Tanya: 49:50

that connection to be able to communicate and connect with others, right? Yes. And so when you can't do that, that's hard. It's very hard. That's hard on the parent. Yeah. It's hard on the child.

Ann: 50:01

It's very hard. And yeah, I felt so misunderstood. I can't imagine how my son felt if I felt so misunderstood as a mom. Yes. I can't imagine how my little boy felt misunderstood. Yes. And how many little children that are nonverbal feel misunderstood?

Tanya: 50:21

Mm-hmm. And some of these children, they know what they wanna say. Mm-hmm. You know, they do, they might not be able to express it, but they know Yes. You know, their comprehension might be stronger than what they're able to express. Yes. And so this is a way of helping them to be able to express and for some kids, They might never be verbal. Mm-hmm. And they might move on to AAC devices that speak for them. Mm-hmm. I don't know if you've ever seen those. No. You, they have'em sometimes on tablets, an app on tablets, or sometimes it's, it looks like it's something like a tablet. Okay. But it's actual pictures and you press it and it talks for you. Hmm. See, my son, I never had those tools, but some kids like your son mm-hmm. They're eventually going to speak. Yes. Right. They're delayed. Yeah. And they're eventually going to speak. And this is a perfect model for them. It is. Because this isn't a silent exchange. It's, and I think some people were thinking that, they're like, is this gonna hold my child back? You know? No. And it's not. This is not a silent exchange. They're not just gonna point and then you give No, no, no. You're modeling for them. Yeah. Hey, do you want to eat some food? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Good. Look, I have your apples right here. Let's eat. Yes. Right. You're pointing at the picture. Yes. Oh, do you need help opening that? Okay. Cheryl help you. And you're pointing Yes, right? Oh, you want more, you purposely give them a little, right? Yeah. Okay. And then of course, they're gonna want more. They might start fussing or, you know, reach in. What do you want? Do you want more? Yeah. Right. You're modeling. Yes. For them. They're hearing, yeah, they're seeing the picture, but they're also hearing, but

Ann: 51:57

most importantly, you're communicating with them because now they're engaged and they're watching you. And now Exactly. They're not frustrated. They're like, okay, mom's really trying to talk with me. Mom's really trying to understand me. Yes.

Tanya: 52:11

So it could be so beneficial. It really can. And so some of my students like, whew, they're, they're talking, but they still like, love to use this. They're like, Uhhuh still pointing and saying the words, and it's so cool. Um, yeah, because, it's helpful. It is. It really is.

Ann: 52:26

Tanya tell us where we can, if there's a mom out there or a grandma or an aunt, or even a teacher who may have, struggled with kids in their classroom. Where can they purchase this?

Tanya: 52:40

So it's it's available on Amazon. So if you go on Amazon and you search a, a c placement mm-hmm. It comes up, it should come up at the top.

Ann: 52:50

I will go ahead and post the link to it. Uh, once this episode is released, I'll post it. And then what's the retail price for it on Amazon? It

Tanya: 53:00

is 1699. Okay. Which is so worth it. Which I mean, I'm always doing sales. Mm-hmm. Too. Yeah. So look out for sales. Yeah. At least once every couple weeks I'm like, okay, I'm dropping the price, yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's only been out for maybe two months now, but I'm making sure that I put it on sale I just, want people to buy it. I want it to be helpful. I want it to help moms. I want it to help speech paths. Like you, you said special education teachers. Yes. And I am so excited because I have like Eight reviews now yay. But one of them is from a special education teacher, and she's like, I use this with one of my students. And I'm like, yes. That's so awesome. You know? That is awesome. Yeah. And then she's like, and I also, wanna use it with my son who is non-verbal. I'm hearing from moms a special education teacher now, and I'm just like, oh man, that's, that's my desire. Yes. That's my

Ann: 53:52

desire. Mm. That is so exciting. Yeah.

Tanya: 53:56

And my husband hears it all, like somebody came, he's, I'm so excited. Aww,

Ann: 54:04

Tanya. That's awesome. That is so awesome. I love, this vision that you have with this placement and I really do pray and hope that people, will see it and see the benefit of it,? Yes. And know that it can help a child who is non-verbal and. It's help, it's not gonna replace, the communication aspect. Mm-hmm. And them growing and developing into speaking Yeah. This is an aid. Yeah. It's gonna help along the way. Yeah. And then obviously some, like you said, my son, which finally started talking, over time and reading and doing all that good stuff. What other platforms do you have where if somebody wants to maybe contact you or has questions for you where they can reach you at?

Tanya: 54:51

Simply Delphine. At gmail.com. Okay. Which is the name? That's the brand, the brand of my placements. Okay. Uhhuh. My last name's Dine, if you have any questions, feel free to reach out. I'm here. I love helping, I love talking about this and explaining. I actually just created a PDF and I'm sending it to parents. Okay. Who have bought the, or well, people who have bought the placement. Yeah. And it actually explains how to use it. What are some suggestions? I wish I would've thought of that before I had this pr because I could have had that included in the place mat as it was delivered. But because I didn't think of that, I created it and I've been just like sending it. To those who have their contact information that have bought it, I'm sending it to them. Okay. But if you have any questions? Yes. Simply Delphine, D e l f O as in Frank, i n as in Nancy gmail.com.

Ann: 55:47

Again, I love this idea and I'm really gonna pray that this gets into the hands of the people that really need them for their students, for their children, for their loved ones. I believe it will be really helpful. Before we, and this episode, I ask all my guests,, what are some words of encouragement, for someone who may have gone through feeling what you felt being misunderstood? Maybe not believing, in the truth of what God was saying, because of the lies that we believed as little kids. Man? Just

Tanya: 56:24

reflect on God's word. Pray. Pray against those lies because guess what? The enemy can only do so much. God is stronger. Yeah. You know, and if you pray against those lies, oh man, like, goodbye devil, goodbye lies. Right? Yeah. I would reflect on God's word. Mm. Reflect on God's word and who he says you are. Yeah. Right. And recognize those as lies from the enemy. Those are not from God. No. Those are from the enemy. Yeah. And God has a purpose. God has a purpose for your life. He has a purpose for all of us. Right? Mm-hmm. And of course, of course, the enemy would try to stop that. Of course, he would place these lies and, and try to stop you from. Living out your true calling, right? Yes. Doing all that God has in store for you. And so, woo, fight your battles through prayer. Yes. Through reflecting in God's word.

Ann: 57:20

Thank you so much Tanya. I just look at this Tanya, and I think of the little children that are misunderstood and I think of what you said that you felt misunderstood because you were different. And how many of these little kids feel misunderstood because they're different? Yes. My son felt misunderstood because he was different. Mm-hmm. But how God uses the lie that the enemy wanted us to believe and he turns it around for his glory so that now the very sane children that felt misunderstood. Now you're able, To bless them. Now you're able to provide a way of communication for them so that they're not misunderstood. God takes what the enemy meant for harmony, turns it around for his glory. Yes. And I see it in your life.

Tanya: 58:15

That was so true. Thank you. Thank you for those encouraging words. Wow. That is so true. God can turn anything around. He's so

Ann: 58:22

good. He's so good. He's so good. Yeah. Thank you all for listening to Tanya's story. I hope that you go, and check out her placement on Amazon and, by email if you have any questions. Thank you for listening to this episode of Her

Tanya: 58:41

Scars. Tell a story.